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    Polandball Fanon Wiki
    Alaskan Empireball
    Feeling cute, might skin you alive for being a filthy commie later...
    Government Federal absolute monarchy but not really

    File:Feminism-icon.png Matriarchy REMOVE GYNOFASCISTS!!!

    File:Empire-icon.png Empire

    File:6-icon.png Alien
    PersonalityKnightly, chivalrous, courteous, valiant, psychopath who skins commies and jihadists alive and eats them, proud (and at some times vain), emo, goth, edgy, sensual, romantic, domineering (sometimes), File:6-icon.png alien
    Language(s) Aléscöi

    English

    File:Inuit-icon.png Eskimo-Aleut languages (Inuktitut most of all)

    Russian

    File:6-icon.png Alien
    Type Aléscöi

    File:Inuit-icon.png Eskimo-Aleut

    Alaskan Natives

    American (technically)

    Russian

    File:Turkey-icon.png Kebab I AM NOT KEBAB, REMOVE JIHAD!!!

    File:6-icon.png Alien
    CapitalFile:New Archangel-icon.png New Archangelball
    AffiliationADNball

    File:Circumpolar Commonwealth-icon.png Circumpolar Commonwealthball

    G20ball

    G7ball

    File:OECD-icon.png OECDball

    File:OPEC-icon.png OPECball

    Vodka NATO CSTOball

    File:6-icon.png Aliens
    Religion(s) Christianity

    File:Pagan-icon.png Aléscöi Polytheism (only Western countryball who can into official polytheistic religion)

    Buddhism

    Hinduism

    Islam BUT NO CITIZENSHIP FOR YUO XAXAXAXAXAXA!!!

    File:Sikhism-icon.png Sikhism except for those commies who taste like curry

    File:6-icon.png ∆γγ LM∆θism
    Relations and opinions
    FriendsFile:Anticommunism-icon.pngFile:Nationalism-icon.png Anyone who is a capitalist neo-nationalist right-wing populist anti-globalist commie-remover, but most importantly...

    HEY!! WANNA BE FRIENDS?!

    New Neighbor, I need to get used to him

    File:Poland-Lithuania-icon.png Happy 100th Name-Day!!!

    File:Australia Union State-icon.png My second most important ally and puppet in the Pacific

    My greatest Western ally and liberator but not "real" impertúa like yei and VORTOLANDA IS MEI PEIZAAL!!!

    File:AE icon-icon.pngAEball

    Fellow commie/wonton remover and my puppet who likes trees but remove vegans plox

    File:German Empire-icon.pngFile:Italy-icon.pngFile:Ottoman-icon.pngFile:Pahlavi Iran-icon.png Others who can into impertúa like yei

    File:Hungary-icon.png Fellow remover of kebab/commie/globalist and beacon of West like me

    File:Benelux-icon.png Beneluxball

    I WILL NOT JOIN YUOR CLIMATE AGREEMENT, REMOVE MACRON!!! AND CLEAN UP YUOR SHITTY STREETS NAO!!!

    Helped set up my banks and treasury and has high mountains like yei May also be hiding File:Illuminati-icon.png Dobrokhazarin and his daemonic globalist cult

    Can into FREEDOM but don't turn fascist on me again plox

    (((I WISH PAELLA WOULD LEAVE YUO ALONE)))

    File:Al-andalus-icon.png Sole kebab friend who yei wish paella would also into leaving alone

    Other aliens stranded on Earth just like me

    File:Eurasian Union-icon.png He is mei patori in spirit, if not in body (don't turn commie on me plox)

    File:Kingdom of Greece-icon.png Fellow kebab/commie/globalist remover currently broke because of (((GLOBALISM))) debts

    Has sexy women like me BUT MINE ARE STILL SEXIER XAXAXAXAXA!!! but plox stop flooding Amerikeya with illegals

    I stand with you but remove circumcision plox!!!

    File:Kingdom of Hawaii-icon.png Amikatora vortaí miraan and my puppet fellow wonton/commie remover in the Pacific

    File:Unified Korea-icon.png FREE PARK GEUN-HYE!!!

    File:Japanese-Empire-icon.png I forgive him for bombing/invading my clay in 1942 DO IT AGAIN AND I WILL DAIAMALTEKAR YUO!!!

    Important ally in Southeast Asia but remove tranny plox and STAHP JAILING MY CITIZENS FOR MAKING FUN OF YUOR QUEEN!!!

    Real Chinaball

    File:Brazil-icon.png Congratulations to Bolsonaro for winning against demsoc in 2018 election BUT I STILL HAVE SEXIER WOMEN THAN YUO XAXAXAXAXA!!!

    File:India-icon (turban).png Fellow remover of kebab/wonton/commie BUT AEVERESTI IS STILL MINE XAXAXAXAXA!!!

    File:Volkstaat-icon.png I WISH THEY WOULD STOP BURNING YUO

    File:6-icon.png Aliens

    Formerly:

    File:Russian-Empire-icon.png I did it patori...I carried on your legacy...*snif*...now you can finally into resting in peace...

    You were the true Korea all along, enjoy reunification

    File:Cwoky-icon.png Icgoll doesn't deserve independents! XAXAXAXAXAXA!

    MY ANZESTOR
    EnemiesFile:Antifa-icon.pngFile:SJW-icon.pngFile:Feminism-icon.pngFile:Feminazi-icon.pngFile:Fascism-icon.pngFile:George Soros-icon.png Anyone who supports globalism, leftism, communism, socialism, "democratic" socialism, open borders, fascism, female supremacy and political correctness, as well as anyone who beats up people who disagree with any of the aforementioned, but especially...

    File:Illuminati-icon.png LITERALLY SATAN MADE FLESH

    File:Merkelreich-icon.png YUO COULD NOT INTO STOPPINGS BREXIT XAXAXAXAXA!!!

    SATAN INCARNATE

    YUOR GOD IS LITERALLY A DAEMONIC GOATFUCKER, REMOVE JIHAD!!! Or else...

    File:Spain-icon.png LEAVE CATALONIA ALONE!!! Or else...

    File:Feminazi-icon.png I'M NOT A MATRIARCHY!!!!!!

    File:Antarctica-icon.png YUO ARE MINE!!!!!

    File:LGBT-icon.png PURE EVIL AND A CREATION OF SATAN, REMOVE HOMOSEX!!!

    File:Trans-icon.png SOUL EATING SHAPESHIFTING DAEMONS, BACK TO THE WARP WITH YUO!!!

    File:Hillary Clinton-icon.png YUO CANNOT INTO FEMALE PRESIDENT OF USA XAXAXAXAXA!!!

    FLAG STEALER!!!

    Formerly:

    (((I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YUO FOR 1917)))

    Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel (sometimes)

    FAKE KOREA WHO CANNOT INTO FUNCTIONAL NUKES XAXAXAXAXA!!!

    File:Japanese-Empire-icon.png BOMBED MY CLAY IN WWII AND IS OF FLAG STEALER

    File:Icgoll-icon.png YOU ARE NOT INDEPENDENT GO DIE NOW XAXAXAXAXAXAXA!
    LikesFile:Donald Trump-icon.png MAGA; her flag; ravens; impertúa, File:Aurora Silverwing-icon.png her Emperor, Aurora Romanova; File:Alaskan Republic-icon.png Krevnar Romanov, her national hero; her republican past; her language; being #1 superpower of the Arctic; hunting and fishing; cannabis; her military; her women; her aboriginal peoples; Wonder Woman; capitalism; high technology; her national sovereignty; REMOVING DAEMONS GLOBALISM; SKINNING COMMIES, FASCISTS, JIHADISTS AND DAEMONS GLOBALISTS ALIVE; Hot Topic, WARHAMMER 40K, The Great Awakening, METAL (especially the female-fronted black/death/symphonic kind); her vast mineral wealth; 🛢 #Oil4Dayz; oilmonies; her overseas possessions; File:6-icon.png aliens
    DislikesTerrorists; File:Turkey-icon.png KEBAB; being called kebab; File:Jihad-icon.png JIHADISTS TRYING TO BOMB ME; GOATFUCKERS, mosques, Muhammad the rapist, the star and crescent symbol, hijabs, sharia law, anything to do with Islam; DAEMONS GLOBALISTS; File:Feminazi-icon.png GYNOFASCISTS; File:Feminism-icon.png feminism in general; File:Fascism-icon.png real fascism of any kind; File:Illuminati-icon.png Dobrokhazarin, his daemonic cult, File:George Soros-icon.png HIS DAEMONIC HIGH PRIEST, File:Antifa-icon.png his brainwashed daemonic acolytes, anything to do with Dobrokhazarin; File:Hillary Clinton-icon.pngFile:Obama-icon.pngFile:Bernie Sanders-icon.png the deep state; COMMIE, demsoc, leftism of any kind; her low male birth rate; VEGANS; File:Trans-icon.png SHAPESHIFTING DAEMONIC SOUL EATERS trannies; File:LGBT-icon.png faggots homosex in general but ESPECIALLY trannies; File:SJW-icon.png snowflakes, POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
    Historical information
    Founded1 January 2000
    PredecessorFile:Alaskan Republic-icon.png Aliens Alaskan Republicball
    Population
    Is of importants
    Can into space?Can into world-orbiting network of battlestations and defense satellites because I am secretly a File:6-icon.png 6ball which enables me to obliterate entire clays from orbit and establish global air and space supremacy within mere seconds. I have no current plans to use for now.
    BörkAléscö vortaí

    Suka Blyat

    ∆γγ LM∆θ ∆γγ LM∆θ

    Daiamaltekar Daiamaltekar

    Flay flay

    COMMUNISM IS SATAN

    Impertúa Impertúa

    Krevnar Krevnar

    Khazarin Khazarin

    ALLAHU AKBAR
    FoodWhatever she can hunt or fish from the wild including commie, File:Fascism-icon.png fascist, kebab and File:George Soros-icon.png globalist since they are not people; does not eat (((VEGAN FILTH))) of any kind. Also eats whatever cuisine File:6-icon.png aliens eat
    Notes
    Amikatorie mei omnie think I am of psychopath because of mei desire for flesh and blood Cold War strategy of deterring commie and File:Fascism-icon.png fascist from anschlussing yei by eating them. Of course, now I expand list of potential new prey potential threats to include kebab and File:George Soros-icon.png daemons.
    Alaskan Empireball, also known as Aléscöball, is secretly a File:6-icon.png 6ball a countryball located primarily in northern North America. She is the second-largest countryball on Earth, behind only File:People's African Federation-icon.png PAFball, but is currently the world's dominant superpower alongside USAball, Fake Chinaball, File:Eurasian Union-icon.png Eurasian Unionball, MERKELREICH EUball and File:Brazil-icon.png Brazilball.

    Personality

    Despite always being depicted as female, Aléscöball is a virile and extremely macho countryball, but this does not make her a cartoony "butch lesbian" archetype. In fact, because she has the lowest sex ratio of any countryball (0.25) and a sex ratio at birth of just 0.00002 (1 boy born per 50,000 girls), Aléscöball is often referred to as the Vodka Kebab Amazon of the Arctic because she is the only countryball who can into all-female military. However, Aléscöball considers herself a modern-day knight because she is the only Western country who can into absolute monarchy; therefore she is chivalrous, gallant, courteous, heroic and proud and sometimes vain, and oftentimes even nurturing, as the neologism "maternal warrior" describes Aléscöball all too perfectly.

    Aléscöball is often called a matriarchy because of the abnormally low sex ratio in her population and at birth, but she REALLY takes serious offense to that. The abnormally low sex ratio in her clay is because of her period under occupation by File:Fascist Canada-icon.png one Axis soyboy who got tired of apologizing was ass-hurt because Aléscöball wouldn't gib half her oilmonies and clay when he asked for an economic bailout. During her years under occupation by File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler a Holocaust took place throughout her clay during which millions of 3balls and File:Inuit-icon.png Inuitballs were experimented on with horrible Wunderwaffe biological and chemical agents, including one called the Grey Plague, which dramatically reduced the probability of being pregnant with a son to 50000:1. Plus, most of her male population was wiped out because of World War II. Her clay never experienced the File:Feminism-icon.png female supremacist feminist movement, particularly because Aléscöball already can into equality without feminism.

    In fact, if you were to start feminism in her clay, she'll just straight up skin you alive for being a gynofascist. That is not hyperbole; Aléscöball actually does flay her political opponents alive. That goes for commie, kebab, File:Fascism-icon.png fascist, File:George Soros-icon.png globalist and File:Antifa-icon.png Antifa. See, way back in the day when she was File:Alaskan Republic-icon.png Alaskan Republicball, the main part of her strategy to deter a potential invasion of her clay by Sovietball or by File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler in the Cold War was to make her people as psychopathic as possible, and boy, did it work. Propaganda circulating through the respective clays of the members of File:Warsaw Pact-icon.png Warsaw Pactball and the Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel at the time depicted her people as cannibals and daemons in human form, and was regaled with horror stories of Aléscöballs eating human flesh and wearing fine leather hats made from the flayed faces of Sovietballs unfortunate to trespass in her clay, as well as building entire cities out of the bones of Fascist Canadaballs. But then again, what else would you do when you're a new country sandwiched between two bigger, nastier ones that don't want you to exist? After some people did something jihadists tried into Islamification cultural enrichment in USAball's clay, Aléscöball banned Islam in her clay, resulting in mosques being removed along with hundreds of thousands of kebab, who were often killed in this way; much kebab hides and leathermonies would be of gibbings to her after the whole affair.

    She is often called the emo or Goth version of USAball because of her architectural style and her Aléscöi culture. The truth behind this assumption is much, much darker, however: After Sovietball removed File:Russian-Empire-icon.png her adoptive father from his former clay along with Romanov and food and private property and human rights, she was inconsolable, even resorting to self-harm to cope, which is how she became an edgy emoball.

    Because of her weird language which is the only Romance language that can into Cyrillic alphabet, Aléscöball is often considered to be a File:6-icon.png 6ball because she is one. Despite never having been colonized by UKball unlike nearly 25% of the world at the time, Aléscöball can speak fluent English complete with the proper spelling and all that, but when entering emotional extremes (specifically, when becoming completely unhinged) she uses the same broken Polandball grammar like the other countryballs in the Polandball universe. Typically while skinning you alive for pissing her off.

    History

    File:6-icon.pngFile:Inuit-icon.png From Humble and Alien Beginnings (c.15,000 BCE-1799) File:Inuit-icon.pngFile:6-icon.png

    Aléscöball originated as a File:6-icon.png 6ball stranded on Earth lonesome File:Inuit-icon.png Inuitball who crossed the Bering land bridge to what is now North America from what is now Asia about 15,000 years ago, settling in what now comprises her clay. Her clay is comprised of several different varieties of 3balls with her fellow File:Inuit-icon.png Inuitballs being the largest group. For most of her pre-European history, these 3balls primarily existed as hunter-gatherer societies.

    In 1741, however, the File:Denmark-icon.png Daneball known as Vitus Bering arrived off the coast of Aléscöball's clay on an expedition commissioned by File:Tsarist Russia-icon.png Tsar Peter the Great of the File:Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball. Six years later, Russiaballs began to make landfall at Three Saints' Bay in the Aleutian island chain of her clay, soon to become Russian clay. They were after the fur trade and their slice of North American clay, specifically the "soft gold" or sea otter fur, the softest in the world after chinchilla fur; at the time it was worth its weight in gold.

    File:Russian America-icon.png Russian Americaball (1799-1917) File:Russian America-icon.png

    At first the Russiaballs were brutal to Aléscöball, the File:Inuit-icon.png Inuitballs and the other 3balls in her clay. Starting in 1783, several of these Russiaballs known as promyshlennikballs would round up her 3ball brothers and sisters, using them as slave laborers to hunt furs and remove other 3balls elsewhere on the west coast of North American clay for future expansion. They would brutally put down any uprisings against them and this was the order of the day for the first 20 years of Russian rule, but eventually they stopped when the File:Tsarist Russia-icon.png Tsarina Catherine the Great condemned the violence and ultimately decreed that no more 3balls were to be exploited for furs or in general. From 1763 onward, the Russiaballs stopped being brutal and began to treat her 3ball and File:Inuit-icon.png Inuitball brothers and sisters more equitably, offering them jobs in the fur trade and even having little creoleballs with them, though it would take two generations for the 3ball population to bounce back from near-extinction. Thus Aléscöball's first incarnation, File:Russian America-icon.png Russian Americaball, was born, with her current capital city in File:New Archangel-icon.png New Archangelball.

    Come 1867, File:Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball had just lost the Crimean War to UKball and Franceball and was in need of money, but he wasn't willing to give up his only territory in North America. When USAball put forward a proposal to buy up Aléscöball's clay, File:Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball turned him down, as he was convinced that UKball would not try to invade his North American clay. Still, the possibility of UKball expanding into his North American clay instead prompted him to heavily militarize Aléscöball, so when gold was found in her clay, prospectors from the respective clays of USAball and elsewhere around the world began pouring in by the hundreds of thousands, and much goldmonies and touristmonies would be of gibbings to File:Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball and Aléscöball from the massive economic boom that followed, enabling File:Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball to pay for Aléscöball's modernization.

    During World War I, Aléscöball and File:Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball both fought on the side of the Allied Powers against the File:ReichTime.png Reichtangle and his friends, though File:Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball pulled out of the war after the Battle of Tannenberg due to some internal problems. In 1917, the Romanov dynasty was toppled from power, and File:Tsarist Russia-icon.png Tsar Nicholas II and the rest of File:White Movement-icon.png his supporters fled to Yekaterinburgball. Thus, the File:Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball died, and the Soviet Unionball was born. Even though her late father pulled out of the war because of commie, Aléscöball continued to fight on in his stead until the ensuing Allied victory in 1917.

    File:Tsardom of Alaska-icon.png Tsardom of Alaskaball (1917-1945) File:Tsardom of Alaska-icon.png

    Upon hearing that commie anschlussed her adoptive father's clay, Aléscöball was very sad. As Sovietball began to remove private property and food and human rights from File:Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball's former clay, she resorted to self-harm and general edgy emo shit to cope with it, even contemplating suicide. The victorious Allies decided to give her some space, as they had no way of telling if - or when - she would suddenly snap. However, when she heard that the Romanov dynasty and several File:White Movement-icon.png of his supporters were able to flee to her clay and establish a new Tsardom from scratch, a joyous Aléscöball cut the edgy emo shit and took on her second incarnation, File:Tsardom of Alaska-icon.png Tsardom of Alaskaball, the final bastion (and eventual successor) of the File:Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball on Earth. As a result of the massive influx of File:White Movement-icon.png White Russiaballs from her father's former clay, coupled with Western investment into the development of natural resources in her own clay, Aléscöball was well on the way to becoming one of the world's great powers and eventual world superpower.

    While the rest of the world suffered from the Great Depression, Aléscöball flourished as other impoverished countryballs came to her seeking economic bailouts. She was one of the few Western countryballs to escape the extreme economic collapse of the Depression, with oil being discovered in the far north of her clay in 1934. Of these impoverished countryballs seeking bailouts from her, none were more desperate than Canadaball, whose economy was so closely linked to that of USAball and UKball, and File:Japanese-Empire-icon.png Japanball, who was hit especially hard by the depression because of the limited size of his clay and lack of natural resources. Their economies were in a shambles, their infrastructure woefully crippled, their peoples could not into food or warmth and their industrial level was way behind the times. Still, that did not stop them from going to Aléscöball and seeking economic bailouts. At first they were successful in negotiation but when they asked her to gib them half of her oilmonies and the eastern part of her clay, Aléscöball kicked them both out of her clay in disgust, as she was not going to just let a pair of mooches suck her hard-won oilmonies dry. Little did Aléscöball know that neither Canadaball nor File:Japanese-Empire-icon.png Japanball would forget this, and that they would come back to bite her in the ass in the future.

    Shortly after Aléscöball kicked him out of her clay for being a soyboy whiner asking her to gib him half of her oilmonies and clay, a despondent Canadaball suffered a severe mental breakdown from his hopeless economic situation, causing him to develop an alter ego. Civil war eventually broke out between him and his Nazi-backed doppelgänger, with USAball providing Canadaball with money and weapons that could have been used to invade and remove fascist from File:Nazi-icon.png Nazi Germanyball's clay. Eventually File:Nazi-icon.png Nazi Germanyball and Fascist Franceball directly intervened on the side of his doppelgänger and invaded his eastern coast while the File:Japanese-Empire-icon.png Empire of Japanball invaded his western coast. Besieged on two sides of his clay, Canadaball's doppelgänger finally got the better of him, completely consuming him and transforming him into the File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Canadian Union Stateball. The rest of the civil war involved him removing democracy, rosbif, burger, File:LGBT-icon.png homosex, kosher and commie and freedom and human rights from his clay.

    Come 1941, after File:Japanese-Empire-icon.png Japanball bombed Pearl Harbor and then invaded and anschlussed File:Kingdom of Hawaii-icon.png Hawaiiball, he and File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler turned their attention to Aléscöball to get revenge on her for not gibbing them economic bailouts and shares of her clay. In 1943, File:Tsarist Russia-icon.png Tsar Alexei II, the last ruler of the Tsardom of Alaskaball, was among the casualties of the Axis invasion along with most of the Romanov family, yet Aléscöball refused to throw in the towel, fighting on to the bitter end. She had fought on longer than any of the other Allies, but at the end of it all, even with her vast resource wealth and well-equipped army, she was no match for the advancing Axis forces, and she ultimately surrendered on 15 September 1945, becoming an File:Occupied Alaska-icon.png occupied territory of the File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Canadian Union Stateball.

    File:Occupied Alaska-icon.png Under Hockey Hitler Canadian Occupation (1945-1959) File:Occupied Alaska-icon.png

    The years after World War II were very hard for Aléscöball. Nearly a quarter of a million File:White Movement-icon.png White Russiaballs, 3balls and File:Inuit-icon.png Inuitballs died, and this was just the beginning. Under occupation by File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler, nearly all 3balls and File:Inuit-icon.png Inuitballs in Aléscöball's clay became slave laborers, either as expendable laborers in industrial enterprises or as bonded neo-serfs on the estates of Canadian farmers in its prairie provinces.

    But perhaps the most horrifying atrocity to ever befall the 3balls and File:Inuit-icon.png Inuitballs was the inhumane medical experimentation performed upon them by the millions by File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler, such as weapons testing, drug trials, lobotomies, gas and pressure chamber trials, and even early forms of genetic splicing. The genetic splicing in particular, however, would backfire hard on File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler in the future, leading to the creation of the modern descendants of these oppressed countryballs and future master race: The Aléscöi.

    Even though the White Alaskan Army was woefully outgunned and heavily crippled after the war, it was far from defeated. In the event of inevitable anschlussing by File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler, Aléscöball had a contingency plan in place to make the occupation of her clay as difficult and as costly as possible for him:

    In 1952 a massive rebellion took place in Aléscöball's clay which ultimately led to File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler's surrender and withdrawal seven years later. Constant slave revolts and guerrilla attacks by the 3balls and File:Inuit-icon.png Inuitballs in Aléscöball's clay as well as in File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler's own clay had left him weakened and unable to fight back against the resurgent White Alaskan Army, now supported by USAball under General Douglas MacArthur. It was at that moment that he decided to fight another day and on 3 January 1959, his control over Aléscöball ended.

    File:Alaskan Republic-icon.png Alaskan Republicball and the Cold War (1959-2000) File:Alaskan Republic-icon.png

    At the same time that USAball liberated her clay from File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler, Aléscöball grew disillusioned with the fall of her monarchy. However, at least for the time being, she put her plans for restoring the Romanov dynasty to her throne on hold, and decided to become a constitutional republic instead; this resulted in her fourth incarnation, the File:Alaskan Republic-icon.png Alaskan Republicball, being born.

    Aléscöball during the latter half of the 20th Century was on par with USAball as a world superpower. She soon found herself involved in the Cold War, which was raging between four distinct factions:

    Aléscöball joined forces with USAball and the rest of NATOball, as that was where her best interests lay. Around this time, Aléscöball's strategy to fend off a potential invasion of her clay by File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler or, God forbid, commie, began to take a very twisted and creepy turn, as a decree was passed stripping personhood from all commies and File:Fascism-icon.png fascists in her clay, making it legal to hunt them for sport. Her favorite punishment for commie and File:Fascism-icon.png fascist in her clay was skinning them alive and turning their hides into fine leather, and this was done by the millions in the name of revenge on commie for killing her patori even though no amount of flayed commie would ever bring him back, as well as to deter File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler from trying to recapture her clay. We can all assume that her leather industry was booming all throughout the Cold War because of the sheer number of her political enemies being skinned alive.

    The containment strategy of Aléscöball, USAball and the rest of NATOball was to contain the spread of fascism and communism before it reached the Americas. Her first battle of the Cold War was against File:Fascist Canada-icon.png her former oppressor as part of righting a great wrong. By this time she developed her own military-industrial complex and the File:Alaskan Republic-icon (soldier).png Federal Alaskan Army used it to great effect, finally removing File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler from the face of the Earth and taking all of his clay for herself in 1975, after nearly 15 years of endless war. Aside from the larger Cold War, Aléscöball was involved in several other conflicts during the Republican Period, such as removing and flaying alive File:Quebec-icon.png commie hockey baguette rebels in 1984, supporting the Mongol Empireball in his expansion into Central Asia to anschluss the File:Kazakh SSR-icon.pngFile:Kirghiz SSR-icon.pngFile:Tajik SSR-icon.pngFile:Turkmen SSR-icon.pngFile:Uzbek SSR-icon.png stans so he can into the largest landlocked country in the world, and anschlussing LIBERATING File:Bhutan-icon.pngFile:Nepal-icon.pngFile:Tibet-icon.png some of Fake Chinaball's clay in the Aléscö-Chinese War in 1999.

    At the height of the Cold War, Aléscöball was now the third-largest nation on Earth, second only to USAball in military power and the size of her economy. By this time she even had her own space program which she stole from the former File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler and by the end of the Cold War, she had at least five orbiting battlestations and her first space-based superweapon, the Daiamaltekar strategic defense satellite, which could shoot down enemy ballistic missiles and orbitally remove enemy clays with kinetic orbital strikes. She did this in 1989 to remove nukes from Sovietball's clay in the Aléscö-Soviet War, thus removing any threat that he could pose to her or the rest of NATOball and obtaining her vengeance on him for anschlussing her patori. The threat of orbitally-launched hypervelocity rods being dropped on his clay from orbit and having no weapon to possibly counter them, combined with the destruction of almost all of his nukes, facilities to launch his nukes and production facilities to make more nukes, as well as his own internal problems, was enough to make Sovietball go tits-up on 26 December 1991, thus ending the Cold War. The remaining nine years between then and the new millennium involved the removal of commie from Sovietball's former clay, now the clay of the newly-rehabilitated and fully-capitalist File:Eurasian Union-icon.png Eurasian Unionball.

    I Can Finally Into Impertúa Again XAXAXAXAXAXA!!! (2000-Present)

    The beginning of the new millennium marked the fall of commie, and a new era for the world and for Aléscöball. Just two years earlier, the last remaining heir of the Romanov dynasty, a certain File:Aurora Silverwing-icon.png silver-haired Aléscöi woman, was finally located. This resumed Aléscöball's postponed efforts to restore the Romanovs to power in her clay, and on 1 January 2000, Aléscöball transitioned into her final and current incarnation, the Alaskan Empireball.

    But with the fall of commie came the rise of an entirely new enemy of the West. After some people did something an attack by jihadists on USAball's clay, Aléscöball joined USAball and his allies on a crusade to remove jihad in what would be the longest conflict in USAball’s life. During this time, Aléscöball was on high alert, suspecting that File:Jihad-icon.png terrorists would attempt into Islamification cultural enrichment on her too, and the decision was made to ban Islam across her clay, resulting in hundreds of mosques being torn down, and many kebab still in her clay were flayed alive by the hundreds of thousands, resulting in exploding leather stocks and a booming leather industry from all the kebab hides garnered from the kebab-removal operations. It soon became clear that kebab were no longer welcome in Aléscöball's clay.

    Come 2008, USAball came down with a case of File:Obama-icon.png soyboyitis, which concerned Aléscöball greatly, so she kept a close eye on him. At first the symptoms were not entirely clear other than a gradual leftward shift in his ideology, but come 2013 he began exhibiting symptoms of File:SJW-icon.png snowflakery, political correctness, gun-grabbing, File:LGBT-icon.png homosex, File:Feminazi-icon.png creeping matriarchy and File:George Soros-icon.png globalism and signs of turning into a filthy demsoc. In response to this several states began to secede from the Union, just as the CSAball had done so many years ago, because he enabled File:Jihad-icon.png jihad and File:SJW-icon.png political correctness and File:Black Lives Matter-icon.png race riots in USAball's clay, as well as violence against conservatives and libertarians and anything to the right of Marx in the name of social justice and establishing a one-world totalitarian government.

    For the first time in nearly 170 years, USAball finally cracked under the pressure and, just like File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Hockey Hitler before him, he suffered a case of schizophrenia as the conservatives and File:Libertarianism-icon.png libertarians joined forces to remove demsoc from his clay, thus resulting in a File:American Patriot-icon.png Patriot uprising against the forces of File:Illuminati-icon.png Trilluminati, File:George Soros-icon.png his high priest and his File:Hillary Clinton-icon.pngFile:Obama-icon.pngFile:Bernie Sanders-icon.png three daemonic lieutenants, File:Freemasons-icon.png his daemonic acolytes and File:Antifa-icon.png his army of brain-dead anarcho-commie daemonic apostates. Using the forbidden NWO Summoning Ritual, File:George Soros-icon.png Soros summoned File:Illuminati-icon.png Trilluminati from the Nine Hells in his clay to try and consume USAball so that he could eventually consume the entire Western world. To save the last truly free Western countryball from being overrun by globalism or, God forbid, File:Illuminati-icon.png Trilluminati and his demonic cult, Aléscöball intervened on the side of the File:American Patriot-icon.png patriots, invading his clay with over 5 million troops to remove demsoc. Her involvement in the civil war saved USAball from what would have been the most horrifying overthrow of a democratic government in human history. With the help of File:Donald Trump-icon.png MAGA and The Great Natonalist Awakening, Aléscöball cured USAball of his 8-year malaise, enabling him to banish File:Illuminati-icon.png Trilluminati, File:George Soros-icon.png his high priest, File:Hillary Clinton-icon.pngFile:Obama-icon.pngFile:Bernie Sanders-icon.png his high priest's daemonic lieutenants and File:Freemasons-icon.png his acolytes back to Hell.

    Today Aléscöball is one of the world's superpowers and tied with USAball as the most powerful of them all. She is currently in a cold war with Fake Chinaball because she anschlussed LIBERATED some of his clay, and is also involved in File:India-icon (turban).png Indiaball's clay to remove File:Khalistan Peoples Republic-icon.png curry commie separatists, Venezuelaball's clay to stop commie from spreading, and other commie removal operations around the globe. In addition, she is involved in various globalism removal operations such as removing migrants from European clay, aiding UKball so he can into Brexit, and eternally being on guard in preparation for the inevitable day that File:Illuminati-icon.png Trilluminati, File:George Soros-icon.png his high priest, File:Hillary Clinton-icon.pngFile:Obama-icon.pngFile:Bernie Sanders-icon.png his high priest's daemonic lieutenants and his daemonic globalist cult will once again rise from the Nine Hells to consume the West. She also is currently supporting File:Donald Trump-icon.png MAGA and his supporters so that he can into finishing the Wall and remove illegals from his clay. In fact, some say she could be responsible for the great awakening gripping the world right now...

    2022, RUSSIAN INVASION OF UKRAINE AND BEDROCKIUM FORCING SIBERIA TO HAVE INDEPENDENCE FROM RUSSIA!!

    Relationships

    Mei Familitia! (My Family)

    • File:Russian-Empire-icon.png MEI PATORI - He adopted me when I was but a lonely File:Inuit-icon.png Inuitball. Now because of (((FILTHY COMMIE))), he is dead, and I miss him to this day, but I am his true successor because Romanovs fled to my clay when commie tried to remove them along with food, private property and human rights from patori's clay. I carried on your legacy, now you can finally rest in peace. COME BACK TO ME PATORI!!! WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN ME?!?!?! HE KILLED YUO AND I DIDN'T SAVE YUO, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE DEAD!!!
    • File:6-icon.png 6ball - All of the rumors are true, of course I am one of them. How else was I able to establish a world-spanning network of orbital battlestations? I am sure that there are others on Earth just like me.

    Amikatorie Miraan! (Best Friends)

    If you're a right-wing, neo-nationalist, protectionist, anti-communist, anti-feminist, anti-globalist, anti-Marxist, anti-Islamist, nativist, populist libertarian patriot who likes File:Donald Trump-icon.png Trump, MAGA, freedom, liberty, national sovereignty and small government, and hates globalism, feminism, mass Muslim migration, leftism, communism, socialism, "democratic" socialism, big government and especially File:George Soros-icon.png (((SOROS))), you are her friend whether you want to be or not. DO NOT TRY TO DENY THAT FACT. Or else...

    • As a quick aside, it is important to mention that Cascadiaball is currently experiencing a daemonic incursion due to the influence of File:George Soros-icon.png Dobrokhazarin's mortal representative. Time will tell if they will be banished back to the Nine Hells, but I hold out no hope that it will be so.
    • File:Kalmar Union-icon.png Nordic Unionball - VORTOLANDA IS MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE AND I WILL NEVER GIVE HIM TO YUO!!! He is my enforcer in Aevropia part of the File:Pan-Arctic Community-icon.png Circumpolar Commonwealth like me. I have had to bail him out in the past because of File:Jihad-icon.png jihadists trying into Islamification cultural enrichment in his clay. Contrary to the old saw, he is not socialist; in fact he tried socialism and it ended up biting him in the ass, so he returned to free-market capitalism like me and the rest of the glorious ADNball. Still, File:Poland-Lithuania-icon.png Polandball and yei face the daunting task of removing kebab and political correctness from his clay. Unfortunately in recent years he has spawned forth a screeching hate-preacher who shames other countryballs for not believing in climate change hoax, but he had no control over it and we cannot into blaming him for unleashing that globalist mouthpiece. Potentially can into impertúa like yei but not really

    Amikatorie (Friends)

    • Judonia - I will stand arm-in-arm, hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder with him until the end of time. I don't have many Jews in my clay but still I recognize him over that jihad enabler who also tries into jihad on him. His Mossad helped my Imperial Intelligence Service get started, so kudos to him for that too. But one question remains though: Would it kill you to not circumcise everyone you come across in your clay? People are beginning to realize that it's not medically necessary anymore.
      • : REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL NOT REMOVE BRIT MILAH, IT IS OF MOST IMPORTANT RITE IN ALL OF JUDAISM YUO STUPID GOYIM!!! FORESKIN IS MARK OF SATAN, REMOVE!!! Even though I have lots of Jewcubes in my clay who oppose it
    • File:Japanese-Empire-icon.png Japanball - My strongest ally in Asia Orientaal. Although he bombed my clay in World War II and even tried into invadings mei island chain, I forgive him but seriously though TRY IT AGAIN AND I WILL START A DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!! for he was a worthy opponent. He can into impertúa like yei, probably because he already IS impertúa like yei BUT MY IMPERTÚA IS BIGGER THAN YUORS XAXAXAXAXA!!! and even has his own Daiakhazarin like yei. He is currently in a spat with Fake Chinaball since he lose most of his clay, plus his Daiakhazarin recently transferred power to his son, so eyes are peeled to see how his reign will turn out. He also is currently still whaling around File:Antarctica-icon.png Antarcticaball which is soon to be my clay in violation of international laws, seriously though STAHP WHALING IN ANTARCTICA!!! JUST STAHP!!!
    • File:German Empire-icon.png Germanyball - My second greatest ally in Aevropia. Though I cannot forget his dark and tragic past, I can forgive him. Now he is being overrun by kebab like almost all other countryballs in Aevropia thanks to File:Merkelreich-icon.png Merkelreich and File:Antifa-icon.pngFile:SJW-icon.png snowflake leftists. He was an impertúa before and he can into impertúa again since File:Nazi-icon.png his alter ego faded away just before the dawn of the new millennium. Still, he is prone to schizophrenic attacks, and the day is yet to come when he will be consumed completely by his File:ReichTime.png alter ego...and never wake up.
    • File:Eurasian Union-icon.png Eurasian Unionball - In a way, he is File:Russian-Empire-icon.png mei patori in spirit, if not in body. I miss him so much. But even though he arose from that FILTHY COMMIE WHO KILLED HIM, at least HE is not like his former self. He can into capitalism like yei and, in a way, he can into impertúa as well. Just don't turn commie on me plox

    Opinitia Nua (Neutral/No Opinion)

      • File:Ottoman-icon.png: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOR THE LAST TIME THERE WAS NO ARMENIAN GENOCIDE, STOP BELIEVING ARMENIAN LIARS!!! REMOVE IMPERTÚA!!! SİKTİR GİT!!! SİKTİR GİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİT!!!!
    • File:Ireland-icon.png Irelandball - Known for his leprechauns and his love of alcohol, he is also known for being the most fortified island on the planet and North Korea of Europe, having been so since the end of WWII thanks to his isolationist Dún Éire ("Fortress Ireland") policy. He was finally able into 26+6=1 when he joined the Axis and removed UKball from his clay in 1940, before invading his clay to remove him from WWII. Because of his isolation policy, we hardly ever interact with one another but seriously though DOES IT KILL YOU TO STOP STARTING File:Irish Republican Army-icon.png IRA ON MEI AMIKATORIE IN AEVROPIA?! Oh, and if you DARE start an IRA in my clay then I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE.
      • File:Ireland-icon.png: YE DUN SCARE ME, YE FACKIN' FROZEN KEBAB!!! ERIN GO BRAGH!!! ONE O' THESE DAYS, I'LL MAKE YE PAY FER SIDIN' WIT ROSBIF AGAINST ME!!! I DUN REGRET JOININ' THE AXIS, THEY TREATED ME BETTER THAN ROSBIF EVER DID!!! 1941 WAS THE BEST YEAR OF ME LIFE BUT 1999 WAS ME WORST!!! ONE O' THESE DAYS I'LL REMOVE YE FROM THE FACE O' THE EARTH!!!
      • File:Alaskan Empire-icon (sphere).png: Selminhúk, Ireland...

    Confiditia Nua (Suspicious/I Don't Trust Them)

    Aversatorie (Enemies)

    • Palestineball - I will never support your senseless and futile jihadist cause or the god you claim to serve. I never have supported you and I never will for as long as I draw breath. I have bore witness to the atrocities of genocide for nearly 20 years when the File:Fascist Canada-icon.png False North occupied my clay and nearly holocausted my people. I know what it is like to bear host to genocide, and I stand with Judonia because we have that in common. You have crossed that line one too many times with Judonia. You have crossed that line with my allies in Aevropia and even with Amerikeya by starting Intifada in their clays and displacing their core populations with migrants who will also start Intifada in their clays. But for your sake, I would not cross this line with me. Because if you DARE start an Intifada on me, it will be the final mistake you will ever make, and not even your false god will save you from File:Crusader-icon.png the combined might of a thousand Western nations descending upon you. GIVE ME ONE REASON, AND I WILL END YOU.
    • File:Spain-icon.png Spainball - He is not your clay anymore. You don't get to say "No" to his independence this time. Is it not sobering for you to realize that the one sovereign state that recognizes him as an independent state also happens to be a global superpower? I am that superpower. And everyone knows how you treat your subjects when they stand up for themselves. You claim to have gotten over File:Francoist Spain-icon.png your dark past, yet still trappings of it are very much alive in your clay and your government. I will NEVER forgive you for what you have done to Catalonia, or for how you have treated him and all of his people in your clay. It was only through my incredible mercy that I allowed you to live after my intervention on his behalf, and if you have any honor left, you will swallow your pride, make peace with Catalonia, and bury your vengeance once and for all. But if you continue to antagonize him, and make any further attempt to integrate him into your clay whether directly or indirectly, then it will be the death of you and your pathetic monarchy.
      • File:Spain-icon.png: ¡¡¡PUTA MÁS GRANDE!!! ¡¡¡CATALUÑA ES ESPAÑA!!! ¡¡¡ESPAÑA FUERTE!!! STOP SUPPORTING MI IDIOT HIJO, YUO ARE OF KILLINGS MY JOY!!! 2018 NEVER FORGET!!! YUO ARE TO BLAME FOR MY CLAY'S PROBLEMS, REMOVE IMPERTÚA!!!
      • : How little you understand, Espania. Your hold has been broken. Your union is falling apart because your subjects hate you now, and they no longer want any part of you. You have no one to blame but yourself. Your abuses are known to all the world, and the other countryballs want nothing to do with you anymore. Even your erstwhile former friends in the Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel have abandoned you. The world has judged you and found you wanting, Espania, and you will never again recapture the glory of your golden days. You can only stand by and reflect on your failures as your pitiful union dies. I shed no tears for you.

    XOTONAI/XOTONTOROLIE!!! (BITCHES/SONS OF BITCHES!!!)

    • File:Illuminati-icon.png Dobrokhazarin Miraan ("Great Daemonic Emperor") - Since you do not seem to get the message, I will repeat it for you one last time: I will never serve you. There is nothing you can possibly say or do to convince me otherwise. I was right to refuse your invitation when you extended it to me, for the West now realizes your true colors. You are the avatar of hypocrisy on the most monumental scale. You support that jihad enabler and false state over Judonia, and constantly engage in unspeakable acts of perversion and violence in the clays of the poorest countryballs. You have corrupted the United Nations, transforming it into your demonic globalist cult to cause suffering and despair beyond all comprehension, using File:George Soros-icon.png your foul high priest to do it in the name of establishing your totalitarian global dictatorship to remove national sovereignty and personal liberties from the face of the earth. Your File:Hillary Clinton-icon.pngFile:Obama-icon.pngFile:Bernie Sanders-icon.png high priest's daemonic lieutenants tried to summon you from the Ninth Hell using the flesh and blood of innocent people as supplication, whilst leading your File:Antifa-icon.png army of daemon spawn on a path of destruction that caused Amerikeya to have his mental crisis, forcing me to intervene and cast you back into the Ninth Hell from whence you came to save him and the entire Western world from your foul machinations. Your lies do not deceive me, daemon. I cast you back into the Ninth Hell once, and I am more than happy to do it again. You have tried to corrupt Amerikeya and other Western countryballs with your false promises of prosperity and unity, but you will NEVER corrupt me. I have sworn a blood oath to fight you forever, and to prevent you from rising from the Nine Hells to threaten the free world ever again. If you rise again from the Nine Hells in my clay, it will be the end of you and your foul cult.
    • File:Fascist Canada-icon.png HOCKEY HITLER - If you have risen from the Ninth Hell to torment me, know this: I will never forgive you. I will never forgive you for anything. Not for betraying UKball, the Allies, or your frator during the Second World War. I will never forgive you for turning your back on the free world and allowing yourself to be manipulated by File:Nazi-icon.png the Axis. And above all, I will never forgive you for nearly enslaving, torturing, experimenting on and nearly eradicating my people from the face of the Earth. I was under your thumb for nearly a decade, and my suffering knew no end. But when Amerikeya freed me from your control, he gave me the strength to finally unleash 15 years of vengeance and hatred upon you, and wipe you from the face of the Earth as you once attempted to do to me. After File:Nazi-icon.png the rest of the Axis learned what you had done, even they abandoned you, and enabled me to take your clay for myself as reparation for my suffering. The world has judged you, Nortai Sudonicaal. You will be remembered only as a fascist pawn, a brutal dictator and a betrayer of freedom and justice. This world is a better place without you in it, and may your spirit burn in the Nine Hells for all eternity.
    • Fake Chinaball - AEVERESTIBALL IS MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE AND YUO WILL NEVER STEAL HIM FROM YEI XAXAXAXAXA!!! But seriously YUO ARE OF SPREADING NURGLE'S ROT AND SCREWING UP WORLD ECONOMY!!! YUO ARE OF ACCOMPLICE IN TRYING TO STOP GREAT AWAKENING!!! YUO ARE COMMIE PIECE OF SHIT, REMOVE DIM SUM!!! I NEVER TRADE WITH YUO BECAUSE YUOR GOODS ARE OF INFERIOR AND CANNOT INTO QUALITY CONTROL XAXAXAXAXA!!! YUOR PLAGUE HAVE NOTHING ON YEI BECAUSE I CLOSE ALL ENTRY TO YUOR NATIONALS AND YUO CANNOT INTO INVADINGS MEI CLAY XAXAXAXAXA!!! BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH REMOVE WINNIE THE FLU AND LET HIM BE FREE OR I DAIAMALTEKAR YUO!!!
    • SATAN - YUO KILLED MEI PATORI!!! 1917 NEVER FORGET!!! 1991 BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE BECAUSE YUO CANNOT INTO WORKING SOCIALISM XAXAXAXAXA!!! YUO ALSO ATTEMPTED INTO ANSCHLUSS ME IN THE COLD WAR BUT YUO CANNOT INTO MEI CLAY BECAUSE I REMOVE YUOR NUKES XAXAXAXAXA!!! But seriously though IF YUO EVER SHOW YOUR FACE AGAIN I WILL START ANOTHER DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!! REMOVE COMMIE REMOVE DEMSOC REMOVE SOCIALISM REMOVE LENIN REMOVE STALIN REMOVE GULAG REMOVE MARXISM REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE!!!

    Glossary

    • Aléscö vortaí (Алеско Вортаї) - Literally means "Alaska Strong" and is a börk of Aléscöball.
    • Impertúa (Имперту́а) - Means "empire." Being the largest monarchy on the planet by land area, Aléscöball is this, plus it is also another one of her börks.
    • Miraan (Мира̄н) - Means "great", "big", "more", etc.
    • Yei (Ей) - Means "I" or "me".
    • Mei (Мей) - Means "my" or "mine".
    • Patori (Патори) - Means father. Aléscöball always calls File:Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball by this name.
    • Maitora (Майтора) - Means mother.
    • Buanda-Corba (Буанда-Корба) - Literally means "Raven Flag" and is the Aléscöi name for Aléscöball's national flag. Ever the extreme ultranationalist, she is proud of her flag and will turn into a raving psychopath if another countryball desecrates it in any way. The raven is her national bird and its use as a heraldic charge or device of any kind is strictly reserved for Aléscöball only. Any other countryball who tries to use the raven on their flag or heraldic devices or tries to copy her flag in general can expect a very unpleasant "visit" from Aléscöball...
    • Daiamaltekar (Даꙗмалтекар) - Literally means "God-Hammer" and is the name of Aléscöball's orbiting satellite which drops hypervelocity kinetic rods to strike any target on the globe with pinpoint accuracy. No defense exists against this weapon, not even anti-satellite weapons. Aléscöball used it to remove nukes from Sovietball's clay, removing any threat he could pose to the West and ending the Cold War. It is derived from a blueprint made by File:Fascist Canada-icon.png Canadian Union Stateball intended to incorporate components from other members of Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel through technology-sharing all throughout the Cold War, and was originally intended by the Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel to be the final evolution of the dread German V-3 Weltzerstörer ICBM, the most devastating ICBM of the Cold War. Aléscöball frequently threatens to use it against countryballs who piss her off, but she prefers to skin them alive rather than nuke them from orbit. Unless you leave her with no other choice...
    • Dobrokhazarin (Доброказарин) - Literally means "Daemon Emperor" and refers to File:Illuminati-icon.png Trilluminati, who alongside File:ReichTime.png Reichtangle, Omskbird and File:Merkelreich-icon.png Merkelreichtangle is one of the most sinister and diabolical figures in the Polandball universe. He is represented on the mortal plane by File:George Soros-icon.png George Soros, who serves as the high priest of his daemonic cult and constantly tries to summon him using the forbidden NWO Summoning Ritual, which requires a colossal sacrifice of human life and free will as well as the overthrow of many free countryballs' governments, particularly USAball. The File:Freemasons-icon.png Freemasonball serve as his acolytes on the mortal plane, while File:Antifa-icon.png Antifaballs serve as his brainwashed army of anarcho-communist apostates.
      • The NWO Summoning Ritual is similar to the Reichtangle Ritual, but is completed in three steps. For the ritual to work, File:George Soros-icon.png Soros, File:Hillary Clinton-icon.pngFile:Obama-icon.pngFile:Bernie Sanders-icon.png his daemonic lieutenants, and several other high-ranking File:Freemasons-icon.png Freemasonballs must be present on the mortal plane or the ritual will fail. First you must draw a giant green triangle (representing you-know-who) with a green circle in the center near the top corner to represent his eye. Around this you must draw a giant red circle with a pentagram using blood; this will serve as the ritual circle. The next step is to place an idol of the File:ReichTime.png Reichtangle on the top corner, a File:Merkelreich-icon.png Merkelreichtangle idol on the left corner and the Omskbird idol on the right corner. Then you must surround the ritual circle with the flags of both former and current dictatorships (Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union, Fascist Italy, Venezuela, North Korea, etc.) and the portraits of former and living dictators. The third and final step is to sacrifice captives within the ritual circle, the number of which depends on File:Illuminati-icon.png Trilluminati's whims; regardless you will end up sacrificing ALOT of them, around 50 to 100 million at least. Once the last captive has been sacrificed, you must chant "Novus Ordo Seclorum" thirteen times in a row; on the thirteenth time you must light the ritual circle ablaze to open an interdimensional portal to enable File:Illuminati-icon.png Trilluminati to rise from the ninth ring of Hell to try and consume the free world once more.


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