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    Polandball Fanon Wiki
    WIP means under construction.
    Patagonia-icon.png Patagoniaball Patagonia-icon.png
    Patagoniaball taking a selfie.png
    Patagonia is just awesome.
    GovernmentParliamentary Monarchy-icon.png Federal parliamentary constitutional monarchy
    PersonalityLaid-back, super cool but extremely opposed to authoritarianism and radical Islamism in general
    Language(s)English-icon.png English

    Wales-icon.png Welsh
    Spanish-icon.png Spanish
    Mapuche-icon.png Mapudungun
    Tehuelche-icon.png Tehuelche

    200 others (immigrant and indigenous languages)
    TypeGermania-icon.pngGaul-icon.png Anglo-American 3-icon.png

    Gaul-icon.png Celtic-American 3-icon.png (because of Welsh)

    SPQR-icon.png Latin-American 3-icon.png
    CapitalPort Davis-icon.png Port Davisball
    AffiliationUN-icon.png UNball

    English-icon.png Commonwealthball
    Mercosul-icon.png Mercosurball

    OAS-icon.png OASball
    Religion(s)Christian-icon.png Christianity
    • Anglican-icon.png Anglicanism
    • Catholic-icon.png Roman Catholicism

    South American Paganism-icon.png South American paganism
    Animism-icon.png Animism
    Islam-icon.png Islam

    Drudism-icon.png Druidism (minority)
    Relations and opinions
    FriendsAnyone who is friendly with USA or Canada or is democratic in general, but most importantly:

    USA-icon.png The best brother and the best friend I've had
    UK-icon.png Father and mentor

    • Wales-icon.png Favorite cousin and biggest source of settlers to my clay
    • Scotland-icon.png Really wants his freedom back

    English-icon.png Commonwealthball

    • Canada-icon.png Sister (I support Trudeau and we have some similarities)
    • New Zealand-icon.png Babysitter and other best friend forever
    • Cyprus-icon.png Real Cyprus but not explicitly

    Vibora-icon.png My role model
    Malichka-icon.png My other role model
    Argentine Confederation-icon.png Neighbor
    Mapuche-icon.png Mother and direct ancestor BUT STOP BURNING TRUCKS!!!

    Spain-icon.png Auntie BUT CATALONIA IS INDEPENDENT!!!
    EnemiesAny authoritarian nation, especially:

    Soviet-icon.png THE SOURCE OF ALL TERROR

    • China-icon.png PURE EVIL, REMOVE COVID AND REMOVE CCP!!!
    • Vietnam-icon.png AMERICA SHOULD HAVE DEFEATED YOU (Sometimes)
    • North Korea-icon.png JUCHE LOSER, SOUTH KOREA BETTER ANSCHLUSS U BY NOW

    Ingsoc-icon.png THE ANTICHRIST MADE FLESH
    Russia-icon.png STALIN IN DISGUISE
    Iran-icon.png Americaphobic loser
    Australia-icon.png I AM NOT COLD YOU (very rarely)

    Jasmine-icon.png FUNDIE FREAK
    LikesSoccer (love of my life!!!)

    His capital, Port Davis
    Patapop in general
    Anime
    Five Nights at Freddy's
    Modern patriotic songs
    His main TV station PTP
    Sonic Unleashed (werehog enough said)
    Brody and Henri
    Furries
    Furry raves
    Roblox
    Gacha Life
    Capitalism without consumerism
    Democracy-icon.png Democracy
    Anything the commies label as Western propaganda
    Yamazaki Royal Bread
    Among Us (before 2021)
    Super Smash Bros Ultimate
    Brendan and May Vids
    XJ (Patagonian BobbyBloxer)
    JaceIronGolem (RIP)
    Randy Funk
    Electrizon
    Heroes of the Southern Cross
    Trick or Treat Squad! Although we only show it every October
    Immigration (that makes me diverse)
    Vyond Troublemakers

    Futureworm! (especially this episode)
    DislikesAuthoritarianism in general

    ISIS-icon.pngAl-Qaeda-icon.png Radical Islamists (REMOVE FAKE KEBAB!!!)
    Communism-icon.png Commies (REMOVE TANKIES!!!)
    Fascism-icon.png Fascists (REMOVE RACISTS!!!)
    Christian-icon.png Fundies (REMOVE MORALITARIANISM!!!)
    Donald Trump-icon.png Tronald Dump
    Vladimir Putin-icon.png Pootis
    Evo Morales-icon.png Evo Morales (I guess...?)
    Augusto Pinochet-icon.png Helicopter Freak
    Censorship
    Borneo-new-icon.pngPedophilia-icon.png Adyan "Addy" Nur'Ismail (Brendan exposed you!)
    YouTube ads
    Neuquen-icon (Patagonia).png Omar Gutierrez (Nelson Kirchner killer)
    Magallanes-icon.png Plushbunny the Gamer
    Among Us (after 2021)
    Forced consumerism (Looking at you, Singapore-icon.png Shopee, USA-icon.png Netflix, Singapore-icon.png Lazada, Hong Kong-icon.png Watsons, Singapore-icon.png Grabfood, Germany-icon.png Foodpanda, Philippines-icon.png WalterMart, Singapore-icon.png Group One Holdings and especially YOU, USA-icon.png Google!)
    Miss-f*cking-Ladybird (for akumatizing Robby, Brendan and many of my YouTubers, I hate everything you stand for. Now go take all your Emotes and Emotimonsters and take them to where the sun doesn't shine.)
    Being confused with the clothing brand of the same name
    South Korea-icon.png K-pop (no interest, neutral)
    The Tories (sometimes)
    Moralitarianism (More like totalitarianism!)
    Nazi-icon.png Nazism of any kind
    Texas-icon.png Trumpist breeding ground

    Blackface (if you're using it to portray Afro-Americans in a negative light)
    Historical information
    Is of importants
    Can into space?Yup, in 1989!
    BörkPata pata, Robby Robby
    FoodWhatever food he likes, but especially pasties (empanadas), lamb BBQ, colcannon, coddle n'spuds, mixed berry smoothies, beef stroganoff, cheese-stuffed burger steak, mountain wine, Nando's
    Notes

    Patagonia-icon.png Patagoniaball, officially the Federation of Patagoniaball, is Brody and Henri a country in South America occupying Patagonia (hence his name). It is bordered by Patria Vieja-icon.png Chileball and Argentine Confederation-icon.png Rio de la Plataball to the north, the Pacific to the west, the Atlantic to the east, and the Strait of Magellan to the south.

    Patagonia is one of these countries that is laid-back, given his pretty strict policy of neutrality. He is also a gamer, a YouTuber and a closeted furry. He is best known for his TV shows too.

    He is often called "Cold Australia" for his climate and similar culture to Australia, or "New Zealand's beefy brother" just because he and New Zealand share climates, accents and latitudes (and Patagonia is clearly larger), but Patagonia takes really serious offense to that.

    He is a diverse and multicultural country, with a syncretism of Wales-icon.png Welsh, Spain-icon.png Spanish, Argentine Confederation-icon.pngPatria Vieja-icon.png Mestizo, Mapuche-icon.pngTehuelche-icon.png Indigenous, Germany-icon.png German, Croatia-icon.png Croatian, Italy-icon.png Italian, Switzerland-icon.png Swiss and Scotland-icon.png Scottish cultures contributing to Patagonian heritage.

    His birthday falls on June 1.

    History[edit | edit source]

    Prehistory[edit | edit source]

    Patagoniaball was born as a menagerie of 3-icon.png 3balls. These included the Mapuche-icon.png Mapuche, Tehuelche-icon.png Tehuelche (Aonikenk), 3-icon.png Kawésqar (Alacalufe), 3-icon.png Huiliche, 3-icon.png Cuncos (the original Monties), Selk'nam-icon.png Selknam (Ona) and Tierra del Fuego-icon.png Yaghans/Fuegians who just lived a fairly normal life.

    That was until Portuguese Empire-icon.png Ferdinand Magellan (Fernando de Magallanes) discovered his clay in 1520. He got his name because of the Tehuelche-icon.png Tehuelches, and Magellan, who thought they were giants, called them patagón, which made his name Patagon-ia.

    Colonial Era[edit | edit source]

    When British Empire-icon.png UKball found out, he got pretty amazed. Immediately his ship, containing mostly Wales-icon.png Welsh with pockets of Cumbria-icon.png Cumbrians and Greater London-icon.png Cockneys, set sail for the Atlantic and went south in 1662 to discover what would later become Rivadavia City-icon.png New Dartmouthball. The area around Port Desireball was claimed, but never settled or explored.

    Spanish Empire-icon.png Spainball was not happy but approved of UKball's attempt to colonize. Soon their colonization attempts became a race to the finish, with UKball sending colonists from Wales-icon.png Walesball, Scotland-icon.png Scotland, Wessex-icon.png Southern England and Ireland-icon.png Irelandball.

    Before long UKball had just flooded the East Coast of Patagonia with colonists from all over his clay and hence founded the colonies of New Britainball, named after himself. Spanish Empire-icon.png Spainball into mad and tried to stop him by claiming Neuquen-icon (Patagonia).png Neuquen, Rio Negro-icon.png Rio Negro and Rockford-icon.png Bariloche for herself.

    The colonial rivalry was ended in 1763 when UKball won by claiming every part of Patagonian clay.

    Franceball found out about this and tried to expel UKball and Spainball from their clay to occupy Patagonian clay, but she failed in 1791 when the final stand in Patagonia, Neuquen-icon (Patagonia).png Neuquénball, was recaptured by them.

    For a while Patagoniaball was governed directly from London-icon.png Londonball, until 1794 when UKball decided to give Patagoniaball crown colony status, subordinate to New Zealand-icon.png New Zealandball. This started Kiwis migrating from the South Island to his clay.

    While New Zealand-icon.png NZball was babysitting Patagoniaball, UKball's colony of New Llanelliball was renamed Port Davis-icon.png Port Davisball, as a nod to John Davis. 300 German families from Duchy of Swabia-icon.png Swabia and Rhineland-Palatinate-icon.png the Palatinate settled in Port Davis's clay.

    Immigration would continue with the arrival of Croatia-icon.png Croats, Italy-icon.png Italians, Germany-icon.png more Germans, Switzerland-icon.png Swiss, and Sweden-icon.png Swedes. There were also groups of Russia-icon.png Russians, Greenland-icon.png Greenlanders, USA-icon.png Americans, Australia-icon.png Australians, and even CSA-icon.png Confederates considered as traitors.

    Dominion and Beyond[edit | edit source]

    Come 1919, Patagonia would later gain Dominion status within the English-icon.png Commonwealth, before merging with the Falklands and the British Pampas in 1930. During WW2, it into neutral, but received more immigrants, up to and including Nazi-icon.png Nazis taken in as prisoners-of-war by the UK-icon.png UK and the rest of the Commonwealth.

    In the 1970's, Patagonia started making reforms. Porno was unbanned, but stays regulated even to this day, and abortion was also legalized (although only in case of medical emergency). He suffered a mental crisis in 1974 when far-right students protested lobbying for the resignation of the current government and the installation of a new, authoritarian government. It was quickly shut up by USA-icon.png USAball.

    He continued growth in the 1980's and 1990's, and it even continued into the New Millennium. But in 2008, some Christian fundies into killing Prime Minister Nelson Kirchner, before branding him as "sinful" and "punished by God". However the terrorists, who were secretly funded by Jasmine-icon.png The Fundie, were marked state enemies.

    2020 was a year of good and bad for Patagonia. It had to struggle with the COVID-19 pandemic, but the leader of the Christians for Change movement, Omar Gutierrez, was arrested after a 14-year-long manhunt that got the FBI of America involved, and sentenced to thirty years in prison for treason, along with much of his cronies.

    Today Patagonia is one of the most livable countries if not the most livable in South America.

    Personality[edit | edit source]

    Patagoniaball is a normally-chill dude who likes talking to his friends and family. When he starts a barbecue, his family would automatically join in. He is friendly to most people on earth, but dislikes a lot of authoritarian countries like China-icon.png Chinaball and Russia-icon.png Russiaball.

    His favorite punishment to inflict upon his enemies is putting fursuits on them and hypnotizing them into acting like furries. The duration of the punishment might depend on how much he hates them. However if he has no other choice, he nukes them, although fursuiting is and always remains Patagoniaball's favorite method of punishment.

    Quotes[edit | edit source]

    • "Desire the right, bro!"
    • "Patagonia's my name, (welfare/human rights/eradicating authoritarianism) is my game!"
    • "Wanna party? Come on over to my Furry Rave!"
    • "This fursuit is for you..." (equivalent to Germany's Anschluss Zeit)

    Divisions[edit | edit source]

    States and District[edit | edit source]

    • Araucania-icon (Patagonia).png Araucanyball - The son with the warmest climate. Has the largest Mapuche population. Thinks he's an 8-icon.png 8ball for having the largest Afro-Patagonian population and consequently likes basketballing. A stronghold for the Mapuche-icon.png Mapuches and that is reflected in his flag.
    • Neuquen-icon (Patagonia).png Neuquénball - Better known as Nehuenken. Where that one May impersonator lives along with Ralph de Wilder and that Satanic far-righter named David Mallory. He often wears a bandanna because of MayPlayz and his arid climate, but not all the time. Considers himself the rightful heir to the British Pampas-icon.png British Pampasball.
    • Rockford-icon.png Barilocheball - Has a high population of Switzerland-icon.png Swiss people, meaning he eats fondue, chocolates and charcuterie. Some people say Hitler-icon.png Austrian Dictator Guy actually died in his clay. If so, I might have no choice but to burn it down.
    • Rio Negro-icon.png Rio Negroball - He's relevant only because of Viedma and Roca City (and their gangsters). He's irrelevant at everything else.
    • Los Lagos-icon.png Seelandball - The Lazio to my Italy, because Port Davis (the capital) is legally part of it (although officially a federal district, Seeland has its capital in Port Davis.) Has an Amish-icon.png Amish, Pennsylvania-icon.png Pennsylvania German and Mennonites-icon.png Mennonite infestation. Not Zeeland-icon.png Dutch Zeeland, Zealand-icon (Denmark).png Danish Zeeland or New Zealand-icon.png her.
    • Aisen-icon (Patagonia).png Aisenball - A were-DJ (and viking wannabe due to his mom being Sweden-icon.png Swedenball) with a passion for gaming. He's the residence of my most popular teen fiction writer, Lane Parsons.
    • Chubut-icon (Patagonia).png Chubutball - Wales-icon.png Walesball's forgotten son.
      • Rivadavia City-icon.png New Dartmouthball - The second-largest city in my clay, Metalcore Capital of South America, and highest number of Transylvania-icon.png alternative people, also the setting of The Dinos. Home of Michael Addington as well.
      • Rawson-icon (Patagonia).png Rawsonball - The only city to be Welsh without being Welsh. "Brendan Birch" lives here. Part of the larger Port Madryn-Rawson-Lewisburg area.
    • Lothian-icon (Patagonia).png Esperanceball - Southland-icon (Patagonia).png Gueryke's brother on the Pacific coast who's just as Russia-icon.png Russian as Gueryke is Scottish. Has lots of Russians, Belarus-icon (old).png Belarusians and Ukraine-icon.png Ukrainians.
    • Saint Croix-icon.png Sainte Croixball - My son who thinks he's French, because many Brittany-icon.pngNormandy-icon.png French settlers, Quebec-icon.png Quebecers and Acadian-icon (Canada).png Acadians moved to and still live in.
    • Southland-icon (Patagonia).png Guerykeball - The Scotland-icon.png Scotland of the South (a title shared by New Zealand-icon.png Southlandball), a name championed because of his Scottish heritage. He can into rolling burr and fish and frites (inherited from England-icon.png Englandball and Belgium-icon.png Belgiumball).
    • Magallanes-icon.png Magellaniaball - Nothing but snowy mountains and furries here, as well as Randy Funk. Eats a lot of lamb chops. Has a lot of Switzerland-icon.png Swiss heritage. And also, President Dunham was born here!
    • Tierra del Fuego-icon.png Firelandball - The coldest and southernmost state, some people call him "the End of the World". Loves speedskating and hates mayonnaise (and seeing armpit hair in kids' shows). Thinks he's turning into Croatia-icon.png Croatiaball due to having lot of Croatians, and yet is also a huge fan of 80's and retrowave culture.
    • Falklands-icon.png Falklandsball - A bunch of empty islands in the Atlantic. People even forget about its existence. Only has one city, Stanley (which has only five skyscrapers, so boring).

    Federal District[edit | edit source]

    • Port Davis-icon.png Port Davisball - My bustling, vibrant, multicultural, dynamic, everything capital (and largest city), and the reason I'm the furriest country in South America.

    Territories[edit | edit source]

    • Argentine Antarctica-icon.png Patagonian Antarcticaball - My claim on Antarctica. Sits just right next to Quebec-icon.png my friend's claim. The only permanently-settled town in Antarctica, Prince Edward (akin to Norway-icon.png Norwayball's Hammerfest) was founded by me.
    • South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands-icon.png Georgewichball - Named after the two parts of him: South Georgia Island and the South Sandwich Islands. I just have a base there, no permanent settlements.

    Relationships[edit | edit source]

    Da Klan (Family Members)[edit | edit source]

    • UK-icon.png UKball - Pops! He colonized me and sent a lot of his people to my clay as settlers. He's a cool dad all in all. We used to be bitter with each other, but it died out eventually and here we are now. We even fought together with Spain-icon.png Spainball against Kingdom of Araucania and Patagonia-icon.png frog-eater puppet in 1791. Sorry if I like your New Zealand-icon.png daughter a bit more than you. Anyways great tea. Commonwealth Countries Tea Party anyone?
      • Wales-icon.png Walesball - Paternal sister. She was the biggest source of British colonists who settled in my clay from the end of the 17th century up until Dominion in 1919. In fact, since most of my people are descendants of Welsh settlers, some people call me the 9th county of Wales.
      • Scotland-icon.png Scotlandball - The 2nd-largest source of British settlers to my clay. Southland-icon (Patagonia).png Gueryke's father as well. Somehow he's trying to gain independence from UK-icon.png Papa Britain.
    • Mapuche-icon.png Mapucheball - My mum. I gave her reservations to live in my clay along with Tehuelche-icon.png Tehuelcheball and 3-icon.png Alacalufeball.
    • New Zealand-icon.png New Zealandball - Condors and Kiwis, SIDE BY SIDE! When trouble calls to us, WE MUST FIGHT! PATAGONIAN-NEW ZEALAND PARTNERSHIP FOREVER!!! She's my sister and she used to babysit me. In fact, I was subordinate to her for 125 years, and I even grew a settlement of Kiwis in my clay. As a result, we share accents (although mine sounds much closer to Australia-icon.png Australia's accent) and some food. We also have similar climates and latitudes. And a large diaspora population in each other's clays. Can you get rid of this monster however? He's making you look bad. And also, TF2 Sniper belongs to your Australia-icon.png big brother.
      • New Zealand-icon.png: Don't ask me, ask Australia-icon.png my big bro because he created that show.
    • Australia-icon.png Australiaball - UPSIDE-DOWN BUDDY! We lie on the same hemisphere, so you are practically my second best friend. I also have a pretty significant population of Aussies in my clay. He also exported lamington squares, mince pie, SMG4, Furry Power Rangers Super Animal Squadron and his accent to my clay. So we should be besties as well. I also hate when people call me the "cold" version of you.
    • South Africa-icon.png South Africaball - The man behind Nando's, my favorite restaurant. Also the creator of the cartoon about the soccer team (although it flopped in my clay, sorry not sorry!) and Rivadavia City-icon.png New Dartmouth's best friend due to lot of Afrikaners in his clay. Tell your Union of South Africa-icon.png father to remove Apartheid, dissolve Bantustans and let Blacks and Afrikaners coexist.
    • Canada-icon.png Canadaball - My cousin with the coolest cartoons to exist, which were unfortunately lewded by Indonesia-icon.png Old Lady Indonesia and Malichka-icon.png Slovenia's only overseas kid. (That was only the cartoon with the kid barbarian though, lucky for me!) She also made Friday Night Funkin' and brought Nanaimo Bars to my clay. Good luck dealing with the redneck convoy though!
      • Quebec-icon.png Quebecball - The French-speaking part of Canada-icon.png Canada and Saint Croix-icon.png my son's idol and role model. She has everything her mom is known for (poutine, maple syrup, beavers). I like her YouTuber Joebloxian too. We into hating the overly-annoying Miraculous fanbase as well.
      • Nova Scotia-icon.png Nova Scotiaball - A cool guy. Chubut-icon (Patagonia).png Chubut has Forest Scots-icon.png a minority population descended from your people. Why not you visit them? Also, I like one of your YouTubers called RedstoneMiner.
    • Patria Vieja-icon.png Chileball - Neighbor, also gaming friend, and the reason I speak Spanish. Although could you please be be much kinder to your Mapuche-icon.png Mapuche population and your Bolivia-icon.png socialist brother?
    • Argentine Confederation-icon.png Rio de la Plataball - My other neighbor to the north, it's also her "fault" that I speak Spanish. She along with her Patria Vieja-icon.png brother gave me empanadas and I adapted it to resemble the British pasty.
    • Spain-icon.png Spanish breakaway states - They count because Spain is the mother of Argentine Confederation-icon.png Rio de la Plata, who's the reason I speak Spanish.
      • Galicia-icon (Spain).png Galiciaball - The biggest source of Spanish settlers in my Araucania-icon (Patagonia).pngNeuquen-icon (Patagonia).pngRio Negro-icon.png northern states. Honestly I don't know if she's Portugal-icon.png Portugal's cousin or Gaul-icon.png a Celt like Walesball.
      • Catalonia-icon.png Cataloniaball - I rescued him from Spain-icon.png his foolish abusive mom who still wants to reclaim him up to now, and she hasn't forgiven me for it. He thanks me and Andorra-icon.png Andorra for finally giving him independence. If he turns to Communism-icon.png the Red Side however, let's just hope he doesn't end up like China-icon.png China. Anyway, we're still friends, just hoping you don't go red.
      • Basque-icon.png Basqueball - Another source of immigrants to the Pampas. Speaks some weird language that causes her to look like an alien. Also, no, you're not an alien. I also funded the remnants your ETA and "accidentally" further drove you to independence.

    Meh Bruddas (Best Friends)[edit | edit source]

    If you hate authoritarianism, you are instantly my friend. Don't even try to deny it.

    • Germany-icon.png Germanyball - A distant relative. Your son, Los Lagos-icon.png Seeland, houses Port Davis-icon.png my capital city Port Davis. Your people's descendants, especially the Amish-icon.png Amish, Pennsylvania-icon.png Pennsylvania Dutch and Mennonites-icon.png Mennonites, have descendants in my clay. I think you're a good guy especially since your policies make you look like the inverse of Nazi-icon.png your past self. You even tried to nonperson Hitler.
    • Malichka-icon.png Malichkaball - The only country on Earth to be an overseas colony of Slovenia-icon.png Sloveniaball. Even then Malichka thinks his mum is one of my Malaysia-icon.png cousins in a costume, a probable nod to that one Lane Parsons novel of mine. We're also both furry gamers although you're more of a nerd. What confuses me is why you really hate anyone who supports France-icon.png Thomas Astruc though...oh, they're supporting racism? Ah, okay. Marko Duganzich-icon.png Duganzich and Ryu Aoba-icon.png Ryu were originally from my clay before he moved to yours.
    • Gran Colombia-icon (alt).png Gran Colombiaball - My girlfriend, there are a few things I like about her, first off her emeralds, because I'm pretty much a gamer and I like me some Minecraft world-worthy Emeralds! Second there's her cartoon Mr. Trance. Third there's the Encanto movie which is set in her clay, and then of course there are her YouTubers MrMutant and RoddyBlaze!
    • Kosovo-icon.png Kosovoball - I recognize his existence, not just because USA-icon.png my star brother's telling me to do so, but also because both of us are multicultural nations. (actually I have more ethnic groups than you hahaha!) He also has a diaspora population in my clay. Your Serbia-icon.png dad needs to get real and stop claiming you!
    • Switzerland-icon.png Switzerlandball - The Neutral Chocoholic Businessman and fellow member of the Neutral Bros. Rockford-icon.pngMagallanes-icon.png Two of my children are of partial Swiss descent due to the many Swiss immigrants that came to their clay.
    • Croatia-icon.png Croatiaball - A fine girl. She's really nice and friendly, her cevapcici is good and she has got a lot of immigrants from her clay in Tierra del Fuego-icon.png Firelandball. I also like your Roblox YouTuber Lytestep.
    • Italy-icon.png Italyball - Makers of Pizza and Pasta. And I'm very sorry about those Uncle Sam-possessed cultural appropriators. Also, I can agree with you, that one Patagonian YouTuber's "back there in NYC-icon.png New York" joke was very distasteful. Also, her immigrants are the reason Rockford-icon.png Barilocheball is partially like her (although Bariloche resembles Switzerland-icon.png Switzerland more).
    • France-icon (beret).png Franceball - The reason Saint Croix-icon.png my son speaks French. The only thing that ticks me off about you however is that one cartoon of yours. Why did you have the nerves to make fun of an entire country just because you were entitled to-oh, it wasn't your fault, it was just Astruc of all people. LOLOLOLOLOL I KICKED YOUR BUTT IN 1791, Kingdom of Araucania and Patagonia-icon.png YOUR CHILD JUST TRIED TO ANSCHLUSS ME BUT FAILED LOLOLOL, TAKE THAT STINKY FROG EATER. Just kidding, let's move on from this.

    Some Eh Doods (Friends)[edit | edit source]

    • USA-icon.png USAball - We shall stand with each other, in sickness and in health, until the end of the world do us part. My very best friend although New Zealand-icon.png New Zealand is another. From when I first saw you fighting UK-icon.png our daddy in 1773, to your independence in 1776, and from the Civil War to the 2nd World War, we've been friends, and we can't deny this. We share a lot of things like flag colors, languages (although different accents), geopolitical stances, systems of measurement and TV shows, and we both stand for democracy. Although I don't really have much Americans in my clay (except in Los Lagos-icon.png Seeland and Neuquen-icon (Patagonia).png Neuquen), I'm defs on your side. In fact, I joined NATO-icon.png the Anti-Commie Club right after the Cold War ended. Although we did have some problems under Donald Trump-icon.png Trump, but now it's over since Biden is president. But, why not take cues from me or Canada-icon.png your neighbor and give Natives full recognition instead of limiting them to reservations?
      • New England-icon.png New Englandball - One of my best friends since the British colonial era, and the best American region in my opinion. He has many of his people in Chiloe-icon.png Chiloe and gives me clam chowder, and in return I give him many of my people in Boston and king crab. We're both liberals too.
    • Ukraine-icon.png Ukraineball - Ah yes, Russia-icon.png Russia's favorite torture victim. Well he really fudging likes to hurt you, eh? Is it because he's trying to do some ritual to revive Soviet-icon.png his past self? If that's the case then curse him! Although, would you try to recognize Kosovar independence?
    • Israel-icon.png Israelcube - The nerdy block we all know and love. I have a sizeable minority of Jews in my clay, I gave her people asylum during WW2 and she thanks me for those two reasons. She also can into only country in the Middle East with LGBT-icon.pngTrans-icon.png gay/lesbian/trans rights. Although, could you and Palestine-icon.png Palestineball try to get even? I know you don't like making amends with a Kebab, but that's one of the reasons for the instability in the Middle East.

    I Dunno (Neutral)[edit | edit source]

    • Google - Though much of his ad revenue is actually stolen from people who have to endure getting annoyed by ads, he is still the most widely-used search engine in the country. In fact, he's the search engine of Patagonia. Seriously though, REMOVE ADS OR I TURN YOU INTO ONE OF MY RUBBER BODYGUARDS!!!
    • Serbia-icon.png Serbiaball - Even though you're beginning to simp for Russia-icon.png vodka, you have a diaspora population in my clay, and you have good rakija, sarma and cevapi. Also, your YouTuber Keith the Collector sounds like a super cool dude. But one question begs to be asked. If Kosovo-icon.png Kosovo is Serbia like you keep whining about, then why are most of the population Albanian Muslims?
    • Neon District-icon.png Neon Districtball - Do I remind you of a Roblox game called Neon District? Also, I don't "simp" for Ukraine. I openly support her, and in return, she supports me. And I like furries because that's my behavior. Other than that, you're cool.
    • Union of South Africa-icon.png Union of South Africaball - STOP MISTREATING 8-icon.png BLACK PEOPLE AND LET THEM COEXIST WITH THE South African Republic-icon.png AFRIKANERS!!! Although you did encourage immigration into my clay, specifically Rivadavia City-icon.png New Dartmouthball, I can never deny it: you were a major jerk. You mistreated 8-icon.png Blacks, basically forcing them to flee to my clay (the reason for the spike in my Black population in the 1970's to 1980's). Although I did forgive him for his racist actions back in the day. He was also the one who introduced Nando's to my clay in 1989, just five years before his death. So we're good, but REMOVE APARTHEID AND DISSOLVE BANTUSTANS NOW!!!
    • Spain-icon.png Spainball - Yes, she is known for her cartoons like Jelly Jamm and Miyuki, and her two Patria Vieja-icon.pngArgentine Confederation-icon.png children. I also love her bullfighting. But what bothers me is the fact that she's abusive and controlling of her three children: Catalonia-icon.png Catalonia, Basque-icon.png Vasconia and Galicia-icon (Spain).png Galicia. Although all three of them have been released from her iron boot, she's on the verge of losing it. Spain, I know how hard it is, but can't you see the good in this? They deserve to get the independence they so desired all those years. And if more states secede...then just give up and accept your fate of shattering into all your autonomous communities. And if you dare attack me for supporting Catalonia...
    • Turkey-icon.png Turkeyball - You do have a diaspora population in my clay, especially in Neuquen-icon (Patagonia).png Neuquen and in Port Davis-icon.png my vibrant and fast-paced capital. BUT DOES IT KILL YOU TO ACCEPT THE FACT YOU TRIED TO SLAUGHTER Armenia-icon.png ARMENIA?! Face it, you did try to, and most of the world agrees.

    Sussies (Cannot Trust Them)[edit | edit source]

    • Jusuf Kalla-icon.png Jusuf Kalla - Although you did some good (having your Miraculous ending be used by Malichka-icon.png Slovenia's son as vengeance against Astruc the troll), you did some bad. Aren't you quite...moralitarian, I must say? You force morals upon people who are unwilling, like juvenile delinquents. I suggest you leave these delinquents alone and let them cause trouble all they want and focus more on forcing morals upon more willing people. And don't forget you got Italy-icon.png Winx Club creator mad over that bad ending to her series. So you're cool, but REMOVE KESANTUNAN OR I WILL STUFF YOU IN A RUBBER MAID DOLL SUIT!!!
    • CSA-icon.png CSAball - STOP HURTING USA-icon.png AMERICA AND EMANCIPATE YOUR 8-icon.png BLACK POPULATION NOW, NO WONDER YOUR FLAG HAS BEEN TARNISHED!!! YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF SO STOP WHINING!!! Even though you were just as bad of a dick and a negrophobe as Union of South Africa-icon.png Apartheid South Africaball, you were still a fine guy on the other side. You had a virtually similar culture to America (even though you were more racist than him) and many of your descendants immigrated into Neuquen-icon (Patagonia).png Neuquen so I more or less like you. Unlike old South Africa, however, I was hesitant to forgive you especially after all that you did to America, but your ghost and I are slowly becoming more and more friendly. His descendants are also Dunham stans, which is great. So we're fine, but JUST STOP HURTING USA-icon.png THE UNION AND GIB RIGHTS TO 8-icon.png BLACK PEOPLE NOW!!! If you dare act racist to me and America again...
    • Jasmine-icon.png Jasmineball - Though I knew you were the one who helped Christians for Change kill my best Prime Minister, we do get along more or less because of Neuquen-icon (Patagonia).png Neuquen's Southern Baptist population. However he's a Fundie, and keeps whining about homosex, trannies and anything he finds indecent in kids' cartoons. Seriously though IF YOU INTO ASSASSINATION ON PM DUNHAM I WILL INTO GIVING YOU THE FURRY INFECTION!!!
    • Venezuela-icon.png Venezuelaball - Aruba-icon.png ARUBA IS MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE AND I WILL NEVER GIVE IT TO U LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Seriously please get rid of Nicolás Maduro and let Juan Guaidó be president, he's the only way to restore order and economic stability to your country. I do pretty much like Arepas though. BUT IF YOU EVER BRING CHAVISM BACK I WILL INTO PROTOGEN ASSIMILATION ON YOU LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

    Faggits (Enemies)[edit | edit source]

    Any authoritarian nation, but especially...

    • Russian-icon.png Russiaball - Well, well, well. What do we have here...if it isn't he who has brought the spectre of war upon European soil once more with his little "special military operation". Nice job, Russkie! You've just started clearing the path to another World War with your China-icon.png demonic Asian friend China. First Crimea-icon.png Crimea, and now Ukraine-icon.png Ukraine. Who's next? Armenia-icon.pngAzerbaijan-icon.pngGeorgia-icon.png The Caucasus or Estonia-icon.pngLatvia-icon.pngLithuania-icon.png the Baltics? I suspect both. And guess what? You get no Nando's or pasties at all for this, especially once you've switched back to using Soviet-icon.png the name and flag of your past self.
    • People who force him to adopt the Metric System of Measurement - I DO NOT NEED METRIC! JUST LET ME USE IMPERIAL MEASUREMENTS ALL I WANT!
    • Google Ads - FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, I WILL NOT "SHOP NOW"!!! STOP FORCING CONSUMERISM ON OTHERS WITH YOUR ANNOYING ADS!!! AND STOP FORCING PEOPLE TO WASTE MONEY ON PREMIUM MEMBERSHIPS OR ADBLOCKERS!!! AND NOW YOU SAID YOU'RE USING ADS TO FUND THE PRODUCTION OF ANDROIDS??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD TECHNOLOGY COMPANY, UNTIL I FOUND THE TRUTH!!! JUST MAKE PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP FREE ALREADY SO EVERYONE CAN HECKING GET RID OF THESE DISPLAYS OF FORCED CONSUMERISM!!! Calmly speaking, I suggest you make premium membership free to others and stop forcing consumerism on people before you end up turning into Buy n'Large 2.0.
    • Lila "Miss Ladybird" Rossi - GET AWAY FROM MY YOUTUBERS!!! WHEN I FIRST WATCHED YOUR SHOW I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE BAD ENOUGH, BUT NO, YOU TURNED OUT TO BE THE GIRL BEHIND THE LADYBIRD, YOU TOOK ROBBY, THEN BRENDAN AND NOW MICHAEL AND TURNED THEM INTO YOUR EMOTIMONSTERS AND FORCED THEM TO TAKE THE MIRACULOUSES OF TWO CHARACTERS THAT WEREN'T EVEN MEANT TO BE IN THE SHOW ANYWAY!!! Go take your emotes, emotimonsters and weapons and take them where the sun doesn't shine! And if you dare emotify me, I WILL END YOU AND YOUR EVIL PLANS WITH THE HELP OF France-icon.png BAGUETTE.
    • One Million Moms - EVIL EVIL EVIL! NO ONE CARES IF LGBTQ+ SCENES SHOW IN CARTOONS OR WHATEVER EFFING KIND OF INDECENCY YOU DISLIKE! JUST LET IT BE!!! And you helped Christians for Change and Jasmine-icon.png Mr. Fundie kill Nelson Kirchner, huh? Then GET OUTTA MY COUNTRY THIS INSTANT!
    • USA-icon.png Peter Browngardt - REMOVE SECRET MOUNTAIN FORT AWESOME, DAD'S MAYO INCIDENT NEVER FORGET, YOU GOT MY Tierra del Fuego-icon.png MAYONNAISE-HATING HALF-CROATIAN SPEED-SKATING SOUTHERNMOST SON ANGRY!!! ALSO STOP OVERUSING THE WORD "BRO"! NOW THIS WORD HAS A BAD REPUTATION THANKS TO THIS NASTY DISGRACE OF A SHOW!!!
    • Republic of Vyond-icon.png Republic of Vyondball - What words can I use to describe this terror? It's simple: strict as all hell. He gets hundreds of characters grounded, tortured and executed just for simply misbehaving. NOT EVERYONE WHO MISBEHAVES IS A TROUBLEMAKER, FOOL!!! YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO ABUSE JUVENILES FOR YOUR OWN SINISTER PURPOSES!!! If you want to be more controlling of your juvenile population, maybe take some cues from China-icon.png Fake China or Ingsoc-icon.png Oceania. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, REMOVE EMPEROR BORIS AND CROWN CAILLOU AND DARK BOWSER NOW OR I PUT YOU IN A PROTOGEN FURSUIT!!!

    SATAN SPAWNS (WORST ENEMIES!!!)[edit | edit source]

    • China-icon.png Chinaball - Hey you. Yes, you. Words are not enough to describe the hatred I have for you and your horrific actions. You are bad on your own, but your treatment of ethnic minorities and rightful dissidents is tenfold! Either you and Russia-icon.png Russkie are trying to outdo Ingsoc from 1984, or I suspect that you're revealing your true colors as George Orwell's worst fears made flesh. In this case, no pasties and Nando's for you! Although you don't technically have a Nando's in your clay, and neither does Oceania.
    • Soviet-icon.png USSRball - I will say it to you once and I will say it to you again: I WILL IN NO WAY JOIN YOU AND YOUR ARMY OF TANKIES FROM HELL. And you cannot make me, because there's nothing you can do or say to sweet-talk me. In fact, now that the world has judged you and found you guilty, I rightfully refused your blood-stained invitation when you gave it to me. You are the ultimate manifestation of tyranny on a global scale. You have made Russia-icon.png Vodka, China-icon.png Miss Social Credit, Belarus-icon.png Bulba and North Korea-icon.png Nuker your pawns in wanting to revive your legacy throughout the world. You have used Vladimir Putin-icon.png Pootis as your Antichrist to spread terror across Europe. You have corrupted Taiwan-icon.png China and made her China-icon.png your slave, trying to spread communism across Asia in your name. And above all, you have squashed many innocent people under your iron boot, crushing separatists and dissidents, fearing your reign of terror would be rightfully extinguished. Had it not been for USA-icon.png America, Germany-icon.png Germany, NATO-icon.png the full force of the West and I myself all having damned you to the confines of history in the 1990's, you would have evolved into Ingsoc-icon.png something far worse. I can hope for you never to come back and spread your Red Terror across the world once more. And when you do, this will be your fatal mistake. End of story.
    • Ingsoc-icon.png Ingsucc - So, you've broken free from the restraints of fiction to terorrize and take over the world, eh? Before you say anything, know this. You are not real. Not because you just don't exist. You are not real because you were made only as a warning, a cautionary tale written to tell people about the dangers and perils authoritarianism might bring upon the world. But Russia-icon.png Stupid Vodka, China-icon.png Origin of Coronavirus and those authoritarian countries didn't listen and instead took cues from you. And if Soviet-icon.png USSR was tyranny, then you are hypocrisy. And not only that: you are twice worse than him, persuading country after country to join your foul army of terror and oppression with the help of your minion. Even Donald Trump-icon.png the racist was foolish enough to accept your invitation, therefore leading to the slow corruption of USA-icon.png my best friend. And worse, you created this Republic of Vyond-icon.png Satanic website as a propaganda tool to teach youth into behaving in the "orderly" you expect from your own youths. You and Soviet have been judged and found guilty by the world. And if you ever manage to escape from the confines of fiction to finish your dirty business, USA-icon.png America, the full force of the West, and I, can all damn you two to whence you came from once again.
    • Vladimir Putin-icon.png Vladimir the Impaler - If you have come from the hell that is Soviet-icon.png the USSR to destroy innocent nations, then I must say this: You are a complete monster. Period. I will never forgive you for your invasion of Ukraine-icon.png Salo, your suppression of righteous protestors, or all of the atrocious acts you did during your presidency. I will never forgive you for turning Russia against the democratic world and forcing it onto a path of destruction and oppression. The world has judged you and found you guilty of all your horrific atrocities, and I will make sure you pay with your life for invading Ukraine, silencing protestors and everything horrible you did in the past. Go to hell, Pootis. And if you dare annex every country in the former USSR and go so far as to restore the Soviet Union, therefore bringing back Communism-icon.png the days of the Red Scare, then I shall make you pay with your life. Mark my words, USA-icon.png America and I will nuke you.
    • Christians for Change - YOU HELPED KILL NELSON KIRCHNER!!! JULY 31 2008 NEVER FORGET!!! 2020 BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I ARRESTED YOUR LEADER LOLOLOLOLOL!!! YOU ALSO ATTEMPTED TO TURN ME INTO Jasmine-icon.png JASMINE 2.0 AND TURN ME INTO DICTATORSHIP BUT YOU CANNOT INTO CONTROLLING ME BECAUSE I BAN YOU LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Seriously though, IF YOU TRY TO START ANOTHER ATTACK AND TEAM UP WITH ONE MILLION MONSTERS AGAIN I WILL PUT YOU ALL IN LATEX POKEMON COSTUMES!!! REMOVE FUNDIE REMOVE BRAINWASHING REMOVE HOMOPHOBIA REMOVE COERCION REMOVE OMAR GUTIERREZ REMOVE CHRISTIAN HYPOCRISY REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE!!! AND STOP MAKING THESE SCARY COMMENTS!

    Trivia[edit | edit source]

    • It is home to some of the southernmost cities in the world.
    • Patagonia's average life expectancy is 81, its average IQ is 102 and ranks 10th on the World Happiness Report, making Patagonia another definition of paradise.
    • In the town of Fitzroy, Sainte Croix, it is illegal to die of hypothermia. The penalty for death by hypothermia would involve the victim's parents and/or acquaintances fined $1000.
    • Mayonnaise is not sold in Fireland, while never officially illegal, it is considered taboo to use mayonnaise in the state.
    • One of the most popular Anglophone Roblox YouTubers, Huw Lyons (Robby) lives in Port Madryn, Chubut, a state in his clay.
    • Name-changing is a common punishment among more conservative Patagonians and the name would often be used to subject the child to unnecessary humiliation until the child learned his/her lesson.
    • Unsurprisingly, certain names were banned because of this. In fact, you cannot name a child "Hawk Moth", "Marinette" or "Grub-a-blub-blub" in Patagonia. The first two names were first banned in Chubut (where Miraculous, the show from which the names came, is widely-hated), because it had become overused by the practice of name-changing. The third name was banned because it was thought to be insulting to lazy children.
      • One bizarre name was "Kailangang Umayos" - which was Tagalog for "must be corrected". The 13-year-old Filipino expatriate, who had the surname Cruz, sued his parents for changing his name as punishment for neither doing chores nor listening to his parents. The parents lost not only the case, but also custody of their son.
      • The name "Gluttony" was recently banned in Port Davis. It was said to be insulting to "children with insatiable appetites". For this reason, Vyonders have taken to calling Patagonia "a country taken over by Troublemakers that needs to be destroyed".
      • The most bizarre name change was when the parents of a 14-year-old boy, also Filipino, had their son's name changed to Paul Mario Lozada-Hewlett Sam-Sung, and were subsequently stripped of custody rights to their son.
    • In 12 of the 15 states, child abuse has been declared illegal. The only states not outlawing child abuse are Southland-icon (Patagonia).png Guerykeball, Lothian-icon (Patagonia).png Esperanceball and Rockford-icon.png Barilocheball.
      • In Chubut-icon (Patagonia).png Chubutball, Tierra del Fuego-icon.png Firelandball, Argentine Antarctica-icon.png the Antarctic Territoriesball and Port Davis-icon.png Port Davisball, there are zero juvenile detention centers, meaning juvenile delinquents are allowed to roam the streets unpunished.
    • Compared to American Christians, Patagonian Christians are more progressive, and are more tolerant of LGBTQ+ identity, abortion (although they never accept requested abortions, only accepting abortion when the baby or mother is in danger) and to some extent p***ography (although still frowned upon).
      • Also, Patagonian Christians are more open about their religious status unlike American Christians (who deny having religion).
    • Espolon is a majority-atheist city in Aisen which seeks to declare its independence from Patagonia and establish its own atheist dictatorship. Selling a Bible in Espolon is punishable by torture, making it the only city in Patagonia to continue the practice of corporal punishment.
    • Bloody Games is a 2010 Patagonian horror film that was slightly gorier than USAball's Saw. It was so gory it was heavily edited for release in more conservative countries.


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