Patagoniaball (BCU)

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Patagoniaball
Patagonia is just awesome.
Government	Federal parliamentary constitutional monarchy
Personality	Laid-back, super cool but extremely opposed to any and all authoritarian ideologies, even authdem. Loves video games and considers himself a total gamer being in the Southern Hemisphere.
Language(s)	Official languages: English Welsh Spanish Mapudungun Regional majority languages: Tehuelche French German Basque Croatian Italian Alemannisch Afrikaans
Type	Anglo-American Celtic-American (because of Welsh) Latin-American
Capital	Port Byronball
Affiliation	UNball Commonwealthball Mercosurball OASball
Religion(s)	Christianity Anglicanism Roman Catholicism South American paganism Animism Islam Druidism (minority)
Relations and opinions
Friends	Anyone who is friendly with USA or Canada or is democratic in general, but most importantly: The best brother and the best friend I've had Father and mentor Favorite cousin and biggest source of settlers to my clay Really wants his freedom back Commonwealthball Sister (I support Trudeau and we have some similarities) Another major source of colonists Bluey, SAS and Vegemite AND I AM NOT COLD YOU!!! Babysitter and other best friend forever Real Cyprus but not explicitly Commonwealth broskies I protected from China Role models Arrogant but friendly neighbor Slightly better neighbor Mother and direct ancestor BUT STOP BURNING TRUCKS!!! Random countries who helped populate my clay Auntie BUT CATALONIA IS INDEPENDENT!!! (sometimes) Video game makers Countries I've protected from China's red boot Ukraineball Pewdiepie and half-mother of Aysen Other random Scandinavian countries
Enemies	Any authoritarian nation, especially: REINCARNATED STALIN IN DISGUISE (from 2022) Tankies of any kind (No exceptions, apart from Vietnam) PURE EVIL, REMOVE COVID AND REMOVE CCP!!! Vietnamball (Sometimes) JUCHE LOSER I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE LATINO, TURN AWAY FROM THE RED SIDE NOW!!! THE ANTICHRIST MADE FLESH Americaphobic loser REMOVE LUKASHENKO!!! I AM NOT COLD YOU (very rarely) FUNDIE FREAK DON'T GET ME "GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED" FOR STUPID REASONS!!! NO RIGHTS FOR U (seldom) TRADITIONALIST SCUM (usually) GIVE YOUR CHILDREN INDEPENDENCE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! (mostly) Historical enemies: I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR 2008!!! STOP MURDERING JEWS AND GYPSIES FOR YOUR STUPID MANIFESTO!!! THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL Origin of Rus Tankie (Stalin = Origin of Tankie) (Number one Enemy)
Likes	Soccer and video games (love of my life!!!), his largest city Meliepully, Patapop in general, anime, nature, mountains, flowers, tea, Five Nights at Freddy's, his TV stations (PTP, CT, Red, Indep and Colorscreen), Sonic the Hedgehog, social democracy, Jacob Dunham, Brody and Henri, furries, video games (Roblox, Minecraft, FNF, Gacha Life and a whole lot more!) and playing them a lot, capitalism without consumerism, Democracy, anything the commies label as Western propaganda, Yamazaki Royal Bread, Super Smash Bros Ultimate, modern patriotic songs, gaming arcades, The Loud House, Brendan and May Vids, VR gear, his YouTubers (XJ, Brendan and May and Randy Funk all supreme!!!), MC Cubed (sometimes), his gaming gadgets, his comics like Electrizon and the Heroes of the Southern Cross, Trick or Treat Squad although we only show it every October, immigration (that makes me diverse), Vyond Troublemakers, Futureworm! (especially this episode), anything remotely gaming-related, being neutral and not caring if WW3 happens anyway, bad endings to horror movies
Dislikes	Authoritarianism in general, radical Islamists, tankies, fascists, any other authoritarian ideology, extremist politics of any kind, Tronald Dump, Pootis, Evo Morales (I guess...?), Helicopter Freak, censorship, Adyan "Addy" Nur'Ismail (Brendan exposed you!), YouTube ads, being called fatherless by alt-righters, Omar Gutierrez (Nelson Kirchner killer), Plushbunny the Gamer, Among Us (after 2021), Forced consumerism (Looking at you, Google!), Miss Ladybird (one big fat clout-chasing excuse of a Miraculous crossover), MC Cubed (sometimes), being confused with the clothing brand of the same name, K-pop (sometimes), the Tories (sometimes), moralitarianism (More like totalitarianism!), Nazism, homophobia, transphobia or negrophobia of any kind, blackface (if you're using it to portray Afro-Americans in a negative light), COVID-19, Joseph Kast (sometimes), David Mallory
Historical information
Founded	June 1, 1919 (Dominion)/June 1, 1930 (Federation)
Population
Is of importants
Can into space?	Yup, in 1989!
Börk	Pata pata, Robby Robby, remove tankies remove tankies, gamer gamer
Food	Whatever food he likes, but especially pasties (empanadas), lamb BBQ, colcannon, coddle n'spuds, mixed berry smoothies, beef stroganoff, cheese-stuffed burger steak, mountain wine, Nando's
Notes

“	Hey, wassup? I'm Robby! Wanna have an adventure with me?	”
	— Robby's intro

“	Friendly fire, isn't.	”
	— Allan Wolsey Cardinall

“	The chains that you used to bind me will now be the tools of my liberation.	”
	— Patagonian proverb

Patagoniaball, officially the Federation of Patagoniaball, is Brody and Henri a country in South America occupying Patagonia (hence his name). It is bordered by Chileball and Rio de la Plataball to the north, the Pacific to the west, the Atlantic to the east, and the Strait of Magellan to the south.

Patagonia is one of these countries that is laid-back and mostly stoic about war, given his pretty strict policy of neutrality. He is also a gamer, a YouTuber and a closeted furry. He is best known for his TV shows too.

He is often called "Cold Australia" for his climate and similar culture to Australia, or "New Zealand's beefy brother" just because he and New Zealand share climates, accents and latitudes (and Patagonia is clearly larger), but Patagonia takes really serious offense to that.

He is a diverse and multicultural country, with a syncretism of Welsh, Spanish, Mestizo, Indigenous, German, Croatian, Italian, Swiss and Scottish cultures contributing to Patagonian heritage.

His birthday falls on June 1.

History

Prehistory

Patagoniaball was born as a menagerie of 3balls. These included the Mapuche, Tehuelche (Aonikenk), Kawésqar (Alacalufe), Huiliche, Chonos, Cuncos (the original Melipullians), Selknam (Ona) and Yaghans-Haush, who just lived a fairly normal life. Their descendants linger on and are called Aboriginal States and Tribes.

That was until Ferdinand Magellan (Fernando de Magallanes) from Portugal discovered his clay in 1520. He got his name because of the Tehuelches, and Magellan, who thought they were giants, called them patagón, which made his name Patagon-ia. Then later accounts proved they weren't really giants, nevertheless were indeed that tall.

Colonial Era

When UKball found out in the 17th century, he got pretty amazed. Immediately the area around Port Desireball was claimed in 1670, but was never settled or explored. Then a ship led by the brave sailor Sir John Byron set sail for the Atlantic and went south in 1787 to discover what would later become Port Byronball.

Spainball was not happy but approved of UKball's attempt to colonize these austral lands. Soon their colonization attempts became a race against each other, with UKball sending colonists from Wales, Scotland and Ireland and Spain sending in its own from the Basque Country, Galicia and the Cantabric Coast.

Before long UKball had just flooded the East Coast of Patagonia with colonists from all over his clay and hence founded the colonies of New Britainball, named after himself. Spainball and her descendant Rio de la Plataball into mad and tried to stop him by claiming Neuquen, Rio Negro and later Andina for herself, as well as Chileball asking to return his side of Patagonia. The colonial rivalry was ended in 1866 when UKball recognized their claims, for now...

Franceball found out about this and tried to expel UKball and Spainball from their clay to occupy all of Patagonian clay, using a French explorer Antoine de Tounens to do her evil bidding, but she was pushed back and the French plan ultimately failed in 1865 when the final stand in Patagonia, Neuquénball, was recaptured by them.

All throughout those years Patagoniaball had been governed directly from Londonball, until 1865 when UKball decided to give Patagoniaball crown colony status, subordinate to New Zealandball. This started Kiwis migrating from the South Island to his clay. While NZball was babysitting Patagoniaball, in 1848, Chilotans and Croats founded Sandy Portball with some help from the Falklanders.

Immigration would continue with the arrival of Croats, Italians, more Germans, Swiss, and Swedes. There were also groups of Russians, Greenlanders, Americans, Australians, and even Confederates considered as traitors. Chileball then ceded his side of Patagonia to the British colonial administration in 1905.

Dominion and Beyond

Come 1919, Patagonia would later gain Dominion status within the Commonwealth, before merging with the Falklands and the British Pampas in 1930. During WW2, it into neutral, but received more immigrants, up to and including Nazis taken in as prisoners-of-war by the UK and the rest of the Commonwealth.

In the 1960's and 1970's, Patagonia started making reforms. Porno was unbanned, but stays regulated even to this day, and abortion was also legalized (although only in case of medical emergency). He suffered a mental crisis in 1966 when far-right students protested lobbying for the resignation of the current government and the installation of a new, authoritarian government. It was quickly shut up by USAball.

In spite of Falklandsball's attempted Rioplatine-backed rebellion in 1982, Patagonia continued growth in the 1980's and 1990's, and it even continued into the New Millennium. But in 2008, some fundies shot Prime Minister Nelson Kirchner dead, before branding him as "sinful" and "punished by God". However the terrorists, who were secretly funded by The Fundie, were marked state enemies.

2020 was a year of good and bad for Patagonia. It had to struggle with the COVID-19 pandemic, but the leader of the Christians for Change movement (and the mastermind behind the Kirchner assassination), Omar Gutierrez, was arrested after a 14-year-long manhunt that got the FBI of America involved, and sentenced to thirty years in prison for treason, along with much of his cronies.

Today Patagonia is one of the most livable countries if not the most livable in South America.

Personality

Patagoniaball is a normally-chill dude who likes talking to his friends and family. He is known for being humble and stoic, and will go nuts if you try to spoil him with anything. His stoicism is also the reason he refuses to get involved in a future third World War, and for that he prefers to sit back and simply watch his family and friends kick his enemies' butts like he's watching a movie.

When he starts a barbecue or a game night, his family and/or friends, including but not limited to UKball, Mapucheball and Rio de la Plataball would automatically join in. He is friendly to most if not all countries, but dislikes a lot of the authoritarian ones like Chinaball, North Koreaball and Russiaball.

People often used to stereotype him as being a mix of an Platine gaucho, a Chilotan huaso, and a British equestrian, but these days, people often stereotype Patagonians as being gamers in hoodies and gaming headphones. This holds true, as in every town in Patagonia (even the most remote ones), there has to be at least one gaming arcade.

His favorite punishment to inflict upon his enemies is putting fursuits on them and hypnotizing them into acting like furries. The duration of the punishment might depend on how much he hates them. However if he has no other choice, he nukes them, although the fursuiting-and-hypnosis-thing is and always remains Patagoniaball's favorite method of punishment.

He takes pride in his roots being from 10 ethnic groups: the Welsh, Criollos, Argentines, indigenous peoples, Germans, Croats, Italians, Swiss, Scots and Chileans. This widely accepted but false belief is taught in schools to bolster patriotism.

Quotes

• "Desire the right, bro!"
• "Patagonia's my name, (welfare/human rights/eradicating authoritarianism) is my game!"
• "Wanna party? Come on over to my Furry Rave!"
• "This fursuit is for you..." (equivalent to Germany's Anschluss Zeit)

Divisions

States

• Araucaniaball - One of the remnants of Mapucheball's pride. He also thinks he's French for some reason.
• Neuquénball - Better known as Nehuenken. Where that one May impersonator lives along with that psychopath named David Mallory. Considers himself the rightful heir to the British Pampasball.
• Pampasball - Satellite to Neuquén, and thinks he's Argentine, not Patagonian. Known for his Mennonite infestation.
• Andinaball - Unicornie lives here. Fondue-eating Swiss wannabes. And stop assuming that the Austrian Dictator and these assumptions are hiding in her clay!
• Rio Negroball - He's relevant only because of Viedma (and MC Cubed). He's irrelevant at everything else, besides, all he has is steppe (and his river).
  • Viedmaball - My equivalent of America's Detroit. Has a large Afro-Patagonian community composed of Ethiopians, Black South Africans, African Americans and Caribbean Patagonians.
• Seelandball - Home of my favorite city, Meliepully. Has populations of Amish, Pennsylvania German and Mennonites. Not Dutch Zeeland, Danish Zeeland or her.
  • Meliepullyball - My bustling, vibrant, multicultural, dynamic largest city, and the reason I'm the furriest country in South America.
• Aysenball - A were-DJ (and viking wannabe due to his mom being Swedenball) with a passion for gaming. He's the residence of my most popular youth fiction writer, Lane Parsons.
• Chubutball - Walesball's forgotten son.
  • Rawsonball - The only city to be Welsh without being Welsh. "Brendan Birch" lives here. Part of the larger Port Madryn-Rawson-Lewisburg area.
• Saint Crosseball - My son who thinks he's French clay, due to his large French immigrant population.
• Vasconiaball - Darnit Jiro! Also stop with the ETA jokes.
• Guerykeball - The Scotland of the South (a title shared by Southlandball), a name championed because of his Scottish heritage.
  • Darwinball - Ayo, I'm Benji Nakamura! Time to kick butt! Highlander wannabe and coaster enthusiast. Benji Nakamura is filmed and set here. Hates when people compare him to Dunedin, New Zealand. He was named in honor of Charles Darwin.
• Magellaniaball - Nothing but snowy mountains and furries (like in Meliepully) here, as well as Randy Funk. Eats a lot of lamb chops. Has a lot of Swiss heritage. And also, President Dunham was born here!
• Firelandball - Italo-Slavic tundra-dwellers. Loves speedskating and hates mayonnaise (and seeing armpit hair in kids' shows). And also a huge fan of 80's and retrowave culture.
• Falklandsball - They know full well they're not real, despite them being a literal bunch of islands in the Atlantic.

Federal District

• Port Byronball - The capital. The second-largest (and oldest) city in my clay, Metalcore Capital of South America, and highest number of alternative people, also the setting of The Dinos.

Territories

• Patagonian Antarcticaball - My claim on Antarctica. Sits just right next to my friend's claim. The only permanently-settled town in Antarctica, Prince Edward (akin to Norwayball's Hammerfest) was founded by me.
• Georgewichball - Named after the two parts of him: South Georgia Island and the South Sandwich Islands. I just have a base there, no permanent settlements.

Relationships

Da Klan (Family Members)

• UKball - Pops! He colonized me and sent a lot of his people to my clay as settlers. He's a cool dad all in all. We used to be bitter with each other, but it died out eventually and here we are now. We even fought together with Spainball against frog-eater puppet in 1862. Sorry if I like your daughter a bit more than you. Anyways great tea. Commonwealth Countries Tea Party anyone?
  • Walesball - Paternal sister. She was the biggest source of British colonists who settled in my clay from the end of the 18th century up until Dominion in 1919. In fact, since most of my people are descendants of Welsh settlers, some people call me the 9th county of Wales.
  • Scotlandball - The 2nd-largest source of British settlers to my clay, and Gueryke's father as well. Somehow he's trying to gain independence from Papa Britain.
• Indigenous groups - I call them "Aboriginal States and Tribes".
  • Mapucheball - My mum. I gave her reservations to live in my clay along with Tehuelcheball and Alacalufeball. Even though I don't always like you when you burn trucks, we still get along.
  • Tehuelcheball - My father at birth. However he wasn't the best of dads and was drunk and aggressive towards my stepdad before he killed him.
  • Puelcheball - The Aboriginal State of the Pampas. Also known as Gununa Kuna, she's the direct descendant of Rio Negroball and Neuquenball.
• New Zealandball - Condors and Kiwis, SIDE BY SIDE! When trouble calls to us, WE MUST FIGHT! PATAGONIAN-NEW ZEALAND PARTNERSHIP FOREVER!!! She's my sister and she used to babysit me. In fact, I was subordinate to her for 125 years, and I even grew a settlement of Kiwis in my clay. As a result, we share accents (although mine sounds much closer to Australia's accent) and some food. We also have similar climates and latitudes. And a large diaspora population in each other's clays. Can you get rid of this monster however? He's making you look bad. And also, TF2 Sniper belongs to your big brother.
  • : Don't ask me, ask my big bro because he created that show.
• Australiaball - UPSIDE-DOWN BUDDY! We lie on the same hemisphere, so you are practically my second best friend. I also have a pretty significant population of Aussies in my clay. He also exported lamington squares, mince pie, SMG4, Furry Power Rangers Super Animal Squadron and his accent to my clay. So we should be besties as well. I also hate when people call me the "cold" version of you.
• South Africaball - The man behind Nando's, my favorite restaurant. Also the creator of the cartoon about the soccer team (although it flopped in my clay, sorry not sorry!) and Port Byron's best friend due to lot of Afrikaners in his clay (as well as Viedma due to Zulus). Tell your father's ghost to remove Apartheid, dissolve Bantustans and let Blacks and Afrikaners coexist.
• Canadaball - My cousin with the coolest cartoons to exist, which were unfortunately lewded by Old Lady Indonesia and Slovenia's only overseas kid. (That was only the cartoon with the kid barbarian though, lucky for me!) She also made Friday Night Funkin' and brought Nanaimo Bars to my clay. Good luck dealing with the redneck convoy though!
  • Quebecball - The French-speaking part of Canada and La Pampa's idol and role model. She has everything her mom is known for (poutine, maple syrup, beavers). I like her YouTuber Joebloxian too. We into hating the overly-annoying Miraculous fanbase as well.
  • Nova Scotiaball - A cool guy. Also, I like one of your YouTubers called RedstoneMiner.
• Chileball - Neighbor, also gaming friend, and the reason I speak Spanish. In fact, half of my Mestizo population had origins in the island of Chiloe. He used to own Meliepully, but when he sold his side of my clay to UKball, I chose to make it bigger, brighter, and better. Although could you please be be much kinder to your Mapuche population and your socialist brother?
• Rio de la Plataball - My other neighbor to the north, it's also her "fault" that I speak Spanish. She along with her brother gave me empanadas and I adapted it to resemble the British pasty.
• Spanish regions - This includes breakaway republics and countries that have chosen to stay part of Spain.
  • Galiciaball - The biggest source of Spanish settlers in my northern states. Honestly I don't know if she's Portugal's cousin or a Celt like Walesball.
  • Basqueball - Another source of immigrants to the Pampas, and half-mother of Vasconia. Speaks some weird language that causes her to look like an alien. Also, no, you're not an alien. I also funded the remnants of your ETA and "accidentally" further drove you to independence.
  • Asturiasball and Leonball - More sources of immigrants to the Pampas. Most of them chose to settle in Cubo's World Viedma or Petalburg City Neuquen. They also settled in rural communities of the Pampas to work in vineyards.
  • Cataloniaball - I rescued him from his foolish abusive mom who still wants to reclaim him up to now, and she hasn't forgiven me for it. He thanks me and Andorra for finally giving him independence. If he turns to the Red Side however, let's just hope he doesn't end up like China. Anyway, we're still friends, just hoping you don't go red. He also had some settlers working as farmers in the Pampas at some point.
• Insulindiaball - Perhaps my best Asian brother. He has a sizeable minority diaspora population in my clay, particularly in Meliepully, Darwin and Viedma. He has his fair share of cartoons and video games also. DJ Bloo is of his ancestry.
• Indiaball - Great chef, multicultural like me, and is also superstitious. Although what ticks me off is how bad you hate food wasters. Why do you have to wish misfortune upon them, anyway? Have you not heard of the saying "be careful what you wish for", or do you not care because you so badly hope for the end of food wastage? I suppose both.

Meh Bruddas (Best Friends)

If you hate authoritarianism, you are instantly my friend. Don't even try to deny it.

• Germanyball - A distant relative. Your son, Seeland, houses my largest city Meliepully. Your people's descendants, especially the Amish, Pennsylvania Dutch and Mennonites, have descendants in my clay. I think you're a good guy especially since your policies make you look like the inverse of your past self. You even tried to wipe out any semblance of your past since it brought you shame.
• Malichkaball - The only country on Earth to be an overseas colony of Sloveniaball. Even then Malichka thinks his mum is one of my cousins in a costume, a probable nod to that one Lane Parsons novel of mine. We're also both furry gamers although you're more of a nerd. What confuses me is why you really hate anyone who supports Thomas Astruc though...oh, they're supporting racism? Ah, okay. Duganzich and Ryu were originally from my clay before he moved to yours.
• Gran Colombiaball - My girlfriend, there are a few things I like about her, first off her emeralds, because I'm pretty much a gamer and I like me some Minecraft world-worthy Emeralds! Second there's her cartoon Mr. Trance. Third there's the Encanto movie which is set in her clay, and then of course there are her YouTubers MrMutant and RoddyBlaze!
• Switzerlandball - The Neutral Chocoholic Businessman and fellow member of the Neutral Bros. Two of my children are of partial Swiss descent due to the many Swiss immigrants that came to their clay.
• Croatiaball - A fine girl. She's really nice and friendly, her cevapcici is good and she has got a lot of immigrants from her clay in Firelandball and Magellaniaball. I also like your Roblox YouTuber Lytestep.
• Italyball - Makers of Pizza and Pasta. And I'm very sorry about those Uncle Sam-possessed cultural appropriators. Also, I can agree with you, that one Patagonian YouTuber's "back there in New York" joke was very distasteful.
• Franceball - She has a lot of her immigrants in Araucania, and also the reason Santa Croce behaves like her. The only thing that ticks me off about you however is that one cartoon of yours. Why did you have the nerves to make fun of an entire country just because you were entitled to-oh, it wasn't your fault, it was just Astruc of all people. LOLOLOLOLOL I KICKED YOUR BUTT IN 1862, YOUR CHILD JUST TRIED TO ANSCHLUSS ME BUT FAILED LOLOLOL, TAKE THAT STINKY FROG EATER. Just kidding, let's move on from this.
• Swedenball - A sweetie. She gave me one of my favorite video games: Minecraft. She also gives me IKEAs, Swedish meatballs, and even lots of her own people in Aysen. Basshunter is wild in my clay. And best of all, we're both anti-authoritarianist. So she's a great country all in all.
• Kosovoball - I recognize his existence, not just because my star brother's telling me to do so, but also because both of us are multicultural nations. (actually I have more ethnic groups than you hahaha!) He also has a diaspora population in my clay. Your dad is a fine dude though, he just needs to release his claim on you.

Some Eh Doods (Friends)

• USAball - We shall stand with each other, in sickness and in health, until the end of the world do us part. My very best friend although New Zealand is another. From when I first saw you fighting our daddy in 1773, to your independence in 1776, and from the Civil War to the 2nd World War, we've been friends, and we can't deny this. We share a lot of things like flag colors, languages (although different accents), geopolitical stances, systems of measurement and TV shows, and we both stand for democracy. Although I don't really have much Americans in my clay (except in a few of my states), I'm defs on your side. In fact, I joined the Anti-Commie Club right after you founded it. Although we did have some problems under Trump, it's all over and we're friendlier again since Joe Biden is president. But, why not take cues from me or your neighbor and give Natives full recognition instead of limiting them to reservations?
  • New Englandball - One of my best friends since the British colonial era, and the best American region in my opinion. He has many of his people in Rio Negro and gives me clam chowder, and in return I give him many of my people in Boston and king crab for him to enjoy. We're both liberals too.
  • Appalachiaballs - One of my states, Andina has a minority population descended from your people (although they are of "Norn Iron" descent). Why not you visit them?
  • Michigancube - Thanks for gib MC Cubed to Viedmaball. Although he's being accused of pedophilia, I forgive him. In fact, he's one of the few pedos I pardoned. But can you please get rid of your giantess fetish? It's disgusting me. I also like The Loud House for it being set in your clay.
• Ukraineball - Ah yes, Russia's favorite torture victim. Well he really fudging likes to hurt you, eh? Is it because he's trying to do some ritual to revive his past self? If that's the case then curse him! Although, would you try to recognize Kosovar independence?
• Israelcube - The genius block we all know and love. I have a sizeable minority of Jews in my clay, I gave her people asylum during WW2 and she thanks me for those two reasons. She also can into only country in the Middle East with gay/lesbian/trans rights. Although, could you and Palestineball try to get even? I know you don't like making amends with a Kebab, but that's one of the reasons for the instability in the Middle East.

I Dunno (Neutral)

• Cascadiaball - Good flora and fauna and also cool shows and environmental standards, but...WORLD WAR THREE??? ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS??? I'VE SURVIVED TWO, WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO GO THROUGH ANOTHER?? I mean, we both utterly hate authoritarianism, but my solution to the extinguishing of this geopolitical scourge is by having two civil wars and multiple coups and revolutions here and there! Not an all-out world war! Like I said, three World Wars is one too many. But if Russkie and Ching Chong's Ingsucc-brand iron boots prove too much, then screw it. I'll just let my best bro intervene and start the fire, but I'm going to treat this like a good movie. I'll grab the popcorn, get my neutral half-relative to watch, and we'll enjoy watching your crazy ass war against authoritarianism. BUT WW3 IS STILL UNNECESSARY!
• Google - Though much of his ad revenue is actually stolen from people who have to endure getting annoyed by ads, he is still the most widely-used search engine in the country. In fact, he's the search engine of Patagonia. Seriously though, REMOVE ADS OR I TURN YOU INTO ONE OF MY RUBBER BODYGUARDS!!!
• Serbiaball - Even though you're beginning to simp for vodka, you have a diaspora population in my clay, and you have good rakija, sarma and cevapi. Also, your YouTuber Keith the Collector sounds like a super cool dude. But one question begs to be asked. If Kosovo is Serbia like you keep whining about, then why are most of the population Albanian Muslims?
• Neon Districtball - Do I remind you of a Roblox game called Neon District? Also, I don't "simp" for Ukraine. I openly support her, and in return, she supports me. And I like furries because that's my behavior, deal with it. Other than that, you're cool.
• Union of South Africaball - STOP MISTREATING BLACK PEOPLE AND LET THEM COEXIST WITH THE AFRIKANERS!!! Although you did encourage immigration into my clay, specifically Port Byronball, I can never deny it: you were a major jerk. You mistreated Blacks, basically forcing them to flee to my clay (the reason for the spike in my Black population in the 1970's to 1980's). But I forgive you for the hardships you have caused Black people. You also introduced Nando's to my clay in 1989, just five years before your death. So we're good, but REMOVE APARTHEID AND DISSOLVE BANTUSTANS NOW!!!
• Spainball - Yes, she is known for her cartoons like Jelly Jamm and Miyuki, and her two children. I also love her bullfighting. But what makes my blood boil is the fact that she's abusive towards her three children: Catalonia, the Basque country, and Galicia. Although all three of them have been released from her iron boot, she's on the verge of falling apart and might be doomed to Balkanize in a few years. Spain, I know how hard it is, but can't you see the good in this? They deserve to get the independence they so desired all those years. And if more states secede...then just give up and accept your fate of shattering into all your autonomous communities. And if you dare attack me for supporting Catalonia...
• Turkeyball - You do have a diaspora population in my clay, especially in Neuquen and in my fur-filled largest city. BUT DOES IT KILL YOU TO ACCEPT THE FACT YOU TRIED TO SLAUGHTER ARMENIA?! Face it, you did try to, and most of the world agrees. I don't expect you to pull off a Germany once you admit it, you might end up being called "Turkmany" as a result.

Sussies (Cannot Trust Them)

• Jusuf Kalla - Although you did some good (having your Miraculous ending be used by Slovenia's son as vengeance against Astruc the troll), you did some bad. Aren't you quite...moralitarian, I must say? You force morals upon people who are unwilling, like juvenile delinquents. I suggest you leave these delinquents alone and let them cause trouble all they want and focus more on forcing morals upon more willing people. And don't forget you got Winx Club creator mad over that bad ending to her series. So you're cool, but REMOVE KESANTUNAN OR I WILL STUFF YOU IN A RUBBER MAID DOLL SUIT!!!
• Philippinesball - We get it, your tropical climate and your popular ass culture. But never forget WHAT YOU DID IN 2010!!! ONE OF YOUR COPS KILLED A BUNCH OF MY PEOPLE, NO WONDER WE HAD TO MAKE BAD ENDINGS OUT OF YOUR MOVIES! AND ALSO STOP STANNING YOUR OWN COUNTRY FOR FOREIGNERS MENTIONING IT!
• CSAball - STOP HURTING AMERICA AND EMANCIPATE YOUR BLACK POPULATION NOW, NO WONDER YOUR FLAG HAS BEEN TARNISHED!!! YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF SO STOP WHINING!!! Even though you were just as bad of a dick and a negrophobe as Apartheid South Africaball, you were still a fine guy on the other side. You had a virtually similar culture to America (even though you were more racist than him) and many of your descendants immigrated into Neuquen so I more or less like you. Unlike old South Africa, however, I was hesitant to forgive you especially after all that you did to America, but your ghost and I are slowly becoming more and more friendly. His descendants are also Dunham stans, which is great. So we're fine, but JUST STOP HURTING THE UNION AND GIB RIGHTS TO BLACK PEOPLE NOW!!! If you dare act racist to me and America again...
• Amishball - Though I do have a population of Amish in my clay and I respect your traditions, why do you have to side with Powellreich, Christians for Change, the Republican Front and One Million Moms on everything? Is it because of your traditionalist behavior? Yes, I know, but would it be sinful to not support a controversial political party?
• Jasmineball - Though I knew you were the one who helped Christians for Change kill my best Prime Minister, we do get along more or less because of Neuquen's Southern Baptist population. However he's a Fundie, and keeps whining about homosex, trannies and anything he finds indecent in kids' cartoons. Seriously though IF YOU INTO ASSASSINATION ON PM DUNHAM I WILL INTO GIVING YOU THE FURRY INFECTION!!!
• Venezuelaball - ARUBA IS MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE AND I WILL NEVER GIVE IT TO U LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Seriously please get rid of Nicolás Maduro and let Juan Guaidó be president, he's the only way to restore order and economic stability to your country. I do pretty much like Arepas though. BUT IF YOU EVER BRING CHAVISM BACK I WILL INTO PROTOGEN ASSIMILATION ON YOU LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

Faggits (Enemies)

Any authoritarian nation, but especially...

• Russiaball - Well, well, well. What do we have here...if it isn't he who has brought the spectre of war upon European soil once more with his little "special military operation". Nice job, Russkie! You've just started clearing the path to another World War with your demonic Asian friend China. First Crimea, and now Ukraine. Who's next? The Caucasus or the Baltics? I suspect both. And guess what? You get no Nando's or Doritos for this. And if you and Chinko trigger a Third World War, my best friend and Daddy will be forced to kick ass. And it's all your fault. But you do have immigrants in my clay.
• People who force him to adopt the Metric System of Measurement - I DO NOT NEED METRIC! JUST LET ME USE IMPERIAL MEASUREMENTS ALL I WANT!
• Google Ads - FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, I WILL NOT "SHOP NOW"!!! STOP FORCING CONSUMERISM ON OTHERS WITH YOUR ANNOYING ADS!!! AND STOP FORCING PEOPLE TO WASTE MONEY ON PREMIUM MEMBERSHIPS OR ADBLOCKERS!!! AND NOW YOU SAID YOU'RE USING ADS TO FUND THE PRODUCTION OF ANDROIDS??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD TECHNOLOGY COMPANY, UNTIL I FOUND THE TRUTH!!! JUST MAKE PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP FREE ALREADY SO EVERYONE CAN HECKING GET RID OF THESE DISPLAYS OF FORCED CONSUMERISM!!! Calmly speaking, I suggest you make premium membership free to others and stop forcing consumerism on people before you end up turning into Buy n'Large 2.0.
• Lila "Miss Ladybird" Rossi - STOP AKUMATIZING INNOCENT CHARACTERS FOR CLOUT, YOU NON-CANON CREATION OF THAT FROG-EATER!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM THE MIRACULOUSES OF CURRY'S CARTOON CHARACTERS "ZORDAAR" AND "DON", ANYWAY??? MORE CLOUT, I SUPPOSE??? STOP USING CHARACTERS AS YOUR PAWNS IN YOUR POINTLESS PURSUIT FOR WORLD DOMINATION, AND STOP USING YOUR EVIL PLAN AS AN EXCUSE FOR A MIRACULOUS "CROSSOVER", YOU PARISIAN SCUM!!! Go take your emotes, emotimonsters and weapons and take them where the sun doesn't shine! And if you dare emotify me, I WILL END YOU AND YOUR EVIL PLANS WITH THE HELP OF BAGUETTE.
• One Million Moms - EVIL EVIL EVIL! NO ONE CARES IF LGBTQ+ SCENES SHOW IN CARTOONS OR WHATEVER EFFING KIND OF INDECENCY YOU DISLIKE! JUST LET IT BE!!! And you helped Christians for Change and Mr. Fundie kill Nelson Kirchner, huh? Then GET OUTTA MY COUNTRY THIS INSTANT!
• RPOS Channel 7 Oshovia bumper from 1993 - The nightmares you caused Oshovian kids grewing up in the 90's to live with are UNFORGIVABLE. REMOVE!!!
• Peter Browngardt - REMOVE SECRET MOUNTAIN FORT AWESOME, DAD'S MAYO INCIDENT NEVER FORGET, YOU GOT MY MAYONNAISE-HATING HALF-CROATIAN SPEED-SKATING SOUTHERNMOST SON ANGRY!!! ALSO STOP OVERUSING THE WORD "BRO"! NOW THIS WORD HAS A BAD REPUTATION THANKS TO THIS NASTY DISGRACE OF A SHOW!!!
• Rodrigo Duterte - This guy is just as bad as if not worse than Ferdinand Marcos. He shut down a major TV network, corrupted the Philippines into befriending a literal tankie and a racist president, tried to dox every Filipino (although he vetoed it, his successor let it happen) and not to mention the crackdown on drug users. But the worst part has to be his fanbase, which makes him look like the Asian Trump.
• Little Oceania - This asshole hates me more than I hate commies. Dude, why do you have to trade juveniles' free will or even lives for maintaining peace and order in your dystopian excuse of a city? Screw you, screw your moralism, screw your disciplinary measures and screw your terrible excuse of a city. You really like to abuse and torture kids who rightfully hate you, and execute them when they try their hardest. What are these "Good Behavior Zombies" anyway? Oh, people who have been torture-brainwashed to the point of displaying hatred towards so-called troublemakers. Also, why would you use wolves, lions, and other wild animals as torture devices? I don't think you should force their feral instincts on the people you call troublemakers. And, why did you give Brendan and May that method where a bunch of your people give characters you hate a bunch of unnecessarily extreme and cruel punishments? That's where I snapped and cut all ties with you. You know what, like I said, screw you. Go shut your own platform down or something.
• The Red Lizard - You don't know anything better than to stir up chaos in my clay. Even he wouldn't let you into your city for fear of association with that devil. REMOVE!
• Vyond community - CORRUPTED CHILD ABUSE PLATFORM! FOR GOODNESS SAKE, VYOND IS A BUSINESS APP, NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN USE TO DRAW UP HEARTLESS AND UNREALISTIC CHILD ABUSE SCENARIOS!!! REMOVE CHILD ABUSE AND TOXIC USERS!!!
  • Warren-Style Punishment videos - The worst kind of Vyond video. Literally combines child labor, child abuse, stalking, psychological torture and forced malnutrition into one! Also, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, right? Don't try to turn these so-called "troublemakers" into dull, obedient minions by punishing them too much!

DEMON SPAWNS (WORST ENEMIES!!!)

• Chinaball - Hey you. Yes, you. Words are not enough to describe the hatred I have for you and your horrific actions. You are bad on your own, but your treatment of ethnic minorities and rightful dissidents is tenfold! Either you and Russkie are trying to outdo Ingsoc from 1984, or I suspect that you're revealing your true colors as George Orwell's worst fears made flesh. In this case, no pasties and Nando's for you! Although you don't technically have a Nando's in your clay, and neither does Oceania.
• USSRball - It's hard to explain. I don't want to go into too much detail anymore, but he's certainly a monster.
• Showa Japanball - YOU ASIAN MASS RAPIST MONSTER!!! NEVER FORGET THE "COMFORT WOMEN" THING, THE NANJING MASSACRE, AND ESPECIALLY THE BOMBING OF PEARL HARBOR!!! YUO HAVE TRAUMATIZED MANY NATIONS AND EVEN YUOR CURRENT SELF DISTRUSTS YOU FOR THE SINS OTHERS THOUGHT HE COMMITTED!!! REMOVE KISHI REMOVE TOJO REMOVE SHOWA REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE!!!
• Ingsucc - I don't wanna go in-depth about you, but as I know, your aren't real, you're just a warning and that's the end of it. YOU PROBABLY EVEN CORRUPTED THE DICTATORSHIPS INTO BEING...UH, DICTATORSHIPS! REMOVE!!!
• Vladimir the Impaler - DICTATORIAL SCUMBAG AND WAR FREAK!!! NO WONDER BORSCHT AND THE BALTIC SISTERS HATE YOU!!!
• Christians for Change - YOU HELPED KILL NELSON KIRCHNER!!! JULY 31 2008 NEVER FORGET!!! 2020 BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I ARRESTED YOUR LEADER LOLOLOLOLOL!!! YOU ALSO ATTEMPTED TO TURN ME INTO JASMINE 2.0 AND TURN ME INTO DICTATORSHIP BUT YOU CANNOT INTO CONTROLLING ME BECAUSE I BAN YOU LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Seriously though, IF YOU TRY TO START ANOTHER ATTACK AND TEAM UP WITH ONE MILLION MONSTERS AGAIN I WILL PUT YOU ALL IN LATEX POKEMON COSTUMES!!! REMOVE FUNDIE REMOVE BRAINWASHING REMOVE HOMOPHOBIA REMOVE COERCION REMOVE OMAR GUTIERREZ REMOVE CHRISTIAN HYPOCRISY REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE!!! AND STOP SCARING PEOPLE AT INOPORTUNE MOMENTS!

Trivia

• It is home to some of the southernmost cities in the world.
• Patagonia's average life expectancy is 81, its average IQ is 102 and ranks 10th on the World Happiness Report, making Patagonia another definition of paradise.
• In the town of Fitzroy, Sainte Croix, it is illegal to die of hypothermia. The penalty for death by hypothermia would involve the victim's parents and/or acquaintances fined $1000.
• Mayonnaise is not sold in Fireland, while never officially illegal, it is considered taboo to use mayonnaise in the state.
• One of the most popular Anglophone Roblox YouTubers, Huw Lyons (Robby) lives in Port Madryn, Chubut, a state in his clay.
• Name-changing is a common punishment among more conservative Patagonians and the name would often be used to subject the child to unnecessary humiliation until the child learned his/her lesson.
• Unsurprisingly, certain names were banned because of this. In fact, you cannot name a child "Hawk Moth", "Marinette" or "Grub-a-blub-blub" in Patagonia. The first two names were first banned in Chubut (where Miraculous, the show from which the names came, is widely-hated), because it had become overused by the practice of name-changing. The third name was banned in Gueryke because it was thought to be insulting to lazy children.
  • One bizarre name was "Kailangang Umayos" - which was Tagalog for "must be corrected". The 13-year-old Filipino expatriate, who had the surname Cruz, sued his parents for changing his name as punishment for neither doing chores nor listening to his parents. The parents lost not only the case, but also custody of their son.
  • The name "Gluttony" was recently banned in Meliepully. It was said to be insulting to "children with insatiable appetites". For this reason, Vyonders have taken to calling Patagonia "a country taken over by Troublemakers that needs to be destroyed".
  • The most bizarre name change was when the parents of a 14-year-old boy, also Filipino, had their son's name changed to Paul Mario Lozada-Hewlett Sam-Sung, and were subsequently stripped of custody rights to their son.
• In 12 of the 15 states, child abuse has been declared illegal. The only states not outlawing child abuse are Guerykeball and Andinaball. Aisen is set to ban child abuse in 2023 by order of the State Parliament.
• Compared to American Christians, Patagonian Christians are more progressive, and are more tolerant of LGBTQ+ identity, abortion (although they never accept requested abortions, only accepting abortion when the baby or mother is in danger) and to some extent p***ography (although still frowned upon).
  • Also, Patagonian Christians are more open about their religious status unlike American Christians (who deny having religion).
• Espolon is a majority-atheist city in Aysen which seeks to declare its independence from Patagonia and establish its own atheist dictatorship. Selling a Bible in Espolon is punishable by torture, making it the only city in Patagonia to continue the practice of corporal punishment.
• Bloody Games is a 2010 Patagonian horror film that was slightly gorier than USAball's Saw. It was so gory it was heavily edited for release in more conservative countries.